MY OBSESSION | P.J.M

38.

Y/n

[Luck]

I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I told the nurses that I wanted to go for I walk with Taehyung. Even if he knew something I don't. I doubt that he will tell me anything.

Amidst the silence, I heard his voice. "You're lucky to have survived the accident y/n." He told me daringly. It took me a second to register what he just spat out. I wondered where he found the audacity to tell me that.

Lucky?

Did he just call me lucky?

If this is what it's like to be lucky, I'd rather die. For luck has never felt this shitty. What part of me is lucky? I struggled to find anything good about this whole ordeal. I feel like I'm no longer in the position of expecting anything worth of luck in my life anymore. How is living lucky if every moment is filled with suffering?

Maybe being dead would be better than living like this

If I am so lucky to be alive, why don't I feel that way?

He stood there looking everywhere except on me. I starred into him and I could see all the thoughts in his eyes. For a brief moment, I felt bad for him. I had no idea what he was thinking and I preferred it staying that way. I'm afraid of what my mind and heart are capable of.

I've obviously done so much damage to everyone, including myself on that list. Should I just go away? I'm not quite sure if every memory has returned by now, but I do think I remember enough. It's like the accident happened yesterday. I could see it so clearly.

"Y/n. Don't be mad at me now, however..."

"What?"

"It is about Jimin-"

"What about him!? I told you to not mention his name!"

Looking back at it. It was immature of me to be mad at Jimin for forgetting our anniversary the week prior. Maybe if my emotions didn't rule me, the accident never would've happened.

"No, listen you need to know this. I had no idea you didn't know this but I think you deserve to know. He's moving abroad today."

I scoffed. Jimin wouldn't leave without saying anything, even if we had a fight he would still tell me important things. Nonetheless, we are still in high school. Jimin said that he wanted to move abroad after university. It's way too early for that. Does Tae think I'm that easy to fool? "Stop playing."

"I have no reason to play around y/n." I pick up my phone and dial Jimin's phone number with sweaty fingers. What if Tae is telling the truth?

Jimin doesn't respond and I feel my heart beating faster. I look at Tae and I realize that he was telling the truth all along. I put on my shoes and run out to the nearest airport and I can hear Tae screaming my name but I could not care any less about him.

As I cross the road I feel a sudden force on my right side and Tae's voice slowly fades into the background. The ground hugs my body as I lay in front of a car. I tried to move but I couldn't even lift a finger.

The last thing I see is tears streaming down Taehyung's face and a smile creeps upon his face.

I remember only seeing Taehyung after the accident, he was the only one there to help me. I believe that the memories in my mind were the only thing that got removed. The memories in my heart were very much still present. I guess my heart was desperate to connect my feelings together again, which was why I fell in love with tae.

My feelings for Jimin translated into love for Taehyung.

Does that make any sense?

"Do you happen to know something that I don't?" Truth is, I actually wanted to ask him about the accident, if Jimin came back to be or left completely.

He seemed to be caught of guard with that question. "I only know as much as you do." He pauses. "Why'd you ask?"

So there's more to it than I know of.

I looked at him and while he was licking his lips. Was he always this easy to read?

"No reason." I looked away and pretended like I never asked him that.

I'm still confused by everything. I know I can't trust Taehyung anymore and I also know I can't trust myself.

How do u turn to with my worries?

I felt jealous. I was jealous of everyone. I was so god damn jealous of everyone that didn't have to suffer like this. Why is it so complicated all the time?

I want to be loved again. Did my Jimin really disappear after my accident?

I felt sick thinking about it. I wanted to see him again and ask where he was been all this time. How dare he be dead?

There's more to this than I know.

I have to start at a new page this time. There's a missing price to my puzzle and I'm going to do everything to find it.

~D

Seems like y/n has more tricks up her sleeves.