Always Us

missed facetimes

"Yeah mom, I know. I'm getting sleep, I swear."

Exhausted from the week, Olivia trudged up the staircase to her apartment a few blocks from the UCLA campus. Her mother was hounding her with questions, and wouldn't let her hang up.

"Your schedule is overloaded right now. I just want to make sure you're making time to eat and sleep. That's important, too. Do you want me to bring by some dinner for you tonight?" Laura asked.

It was already 8:30pm, and Olivia wasn't trying to see anyone tonight. "No mom, I'm good. I already ordered some pizza, it'll be here any minute," she lied.

"Ok sweetie, maybe try to get a vegetable in every now and then."

"Ok mom, I'm going to hang up now." Olivia was irritated with her parent's concern over her, but deep down she knew they were right to be worried. It was her last semester at UCLA, and she was barely managing to balance her full class load, daily dance rehearsal, and the part-time internship. She hardly had time to breath these days.

"Alright honey, I love you. Go to bed early tonight." Olivia sighed as her mom hung up the phone, and she was finally alone in her apartment.

Loneliness creeped in as she realized that the only person she wanted to be with right now was 2,400 miles and three time zones away. She picked up her phone and opened up FaceTime. Please answer Spencer, please. Holding her breath, she clicked on the the last missed call from "my baby 💙" and prayed. 

It was almost 11:45pm EST, and she knew he'd probably be exhausted from a long day of spring training. Olivia stared at her phone willing the text to change to "Connecting...". Several moments later, and the screen returned to the FaceTime call log. C'mon, Spencer, I need you. It had been five days since they last talked on the phone.

Defeated, Olivia tried her best to hold back the tears threatening to fall. Just a little bit longer, she reminded herself. Olivia leaned back against the wall and slid down until she was sitting on the floor with her knees folded up into her chest. She couldn't hold it in any longer. A sob racked through her body.

This week marked eight months since Spencer left for North Carolina last July. At the end of his junior season at UCLA, Spencer declared for the NFL draft and got chosen by the Carolina Panthers. It was one of the happiest days of her life, watching the man she loved fulfill his life-long dream. She remembered that day so clearly, holding his hand tight as she sat next to him in Grace's living room. Sensing that he was nervous, she whispered reassurance in his ear until his name was finally called in the second round. That night everyone screamed, laughed, and cried as they celebrated Spencer James. Grace made her famous mac 'n cheese, and the couple stayed over late into the night until they headed back to Olivia's apartment to celebrate alone.

If only that Olivia knew how hard the distance would become. Phone tag had become a pattern in their relationship. Crying several times a week was now a ritual for Olivia. Jealousy would creep in every now in then, and then the guilt would follow. 

Spencer had her by his side all throughout his collegiate career. She was there at every game. Pep talks, massages, homemade meals. The whole package. Now she was alone chasing her dream with an empty apartment and a full log of missed FaceTime calls. 

Even though it felt like it, she knew he wasn't the one to blame. He had done the same for her while he was still here. Every dance recital, he was there hollering her name as she took her final bow. That goofy smile that he saved just for her always catching her eye in the crowd. On late nights, when she was stressed trying to meet her assignment deadlines, he stayed up with her so that she wouldn't be alone. He never missed a beat.