Always Us

anxious thoughts

A/N at the end!

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Noticing that Olivia had been particularly quiet throughout dinner, Spencer spoke up, "What's got you so quiet?"

"Just thinking about how far we've come," Olivia muttered at her plate as she dragged a stray piece of broccoli around with her fork. 

Spencer kept silent for a few moments allowing her space to get what she needed off her chest.

"My relapse, going to different colleges, your injury, our move. This new calmness makes me nervous. Almost like I'm waiting for the next thing to blow up in our faces," she continued.

Lately, Olivia has been spending a lot of time deep in her thoughts. A lot of changes have happened in the past couple years, and she wasn't sure how to enjoy her new reality. 

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For four years, they were apart. It was hard, but they managed to make the long distance work. Spencer balled out at UCLA, and Liv chased a journalism degree at NYU. Neither of them wanted the other to sacrifice their dreams. Ultimately, they got through it because they had a plan. Their perfect plan that went to shit the day Spencer tore his ACL. It was the beginning of his senior season, his final time to shine before he declared for the draft and attended the combine.

The plan had been perfect. Spencer would focus on his football, and she would focus on her blog. By the time Spencer got drafted, she would be set to graduate. From there, they'd finally move in together. Spencer would be playing in the NFL, and Olivia running her blog and doing freelance journalism from whichever city he got drafted to. They would have been on top of the world.

Instead, Spencer went into surgery and couldn't play his final season. He had to forego the draft and face a long road to recovery. Having no other path, he moved back home to Crenshaw. 

Olivia held up her end of the deal, but her freelance income wasn't enough to support them both. They had banked on Spencer's NFL salary. As her next best option, she found herself the tiniest apartment in LA so that she could be close to Spencer.

The year that followed was hard on them both. Spencer's main priority was rehabilitation. Every day, he did his physical therapy, not allowing himself to become complacent. When he wasn't in physical therapy, he was on the phone with the agent Billy connected him to, learning the in's and out's of free agency.

Olivia watched on, knowing that he was desperate to salvage his chances. It was like watching him post-shooting all over again. 

They had the occasional date night, but it wasn't the dream Olivia fantasized about all through college. When he could sense her frustration, he'd remind her that his dreams would be nothing without her, and deep down she knew it was true.

Eventually, the work paid off and Spencer got picked up by the Denver Broncos. Within a month, they packed up their lives and moved to a new city. Now, Olivia found herself anxiously trying to take it all in.

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"No matter what happens, you know you always got me," Spencer assured her.

Olivia smiled softly at her empty plate. He was right. If their past proved nothing else, it proved that Spencer James would always show up for her. Regardless, she still felt a little uneasy, and Spencer could see it on her face.

"Hey, hey, Liv, look at me."

Olivia finally looked up and made eye contact with Spencer. Her anxiety melted away as his calm eyes focused on her. There was something about his steady gaze that always brought her peace. It's like his eyes are communicating with her, reminding her, you're safe with me, I'll protect you.