Ibhans POV
I was still furious with my father when I reached home, 20 minutes away from where he was. He always made me feel inept and incompetent, and no matter how much I told myself it wasn't true, a small part of me felt like it was. The part that felt responsible for losing Isamu.
"Ay, Feathers, we wont be going back there any time soon, alright?" I told my little bird and he chirped loudly before flying over to one of the many perches I had around my home. My house was small, but I didnt mind. There was enough space for me. The main living area was probably the largest room, with several comfy chairs around a central fire place, and bookshelves lining the far wall. I walked through the living room to the kitchen, which had a small 4 person dining table that hardly ever saw any use. I pulled open a cupboard and rooted around for some snacks, feeling the need to eat my feelings. I must have picked it up from the wolves.
I gritted my teeth and slammed the cupboard shut and decided to just go and lay down instead. I was still tired from the amount of shadow magic I had used on the way home, and I needed to refuel so I could get back to working towards my final assessment. One final show of all my skills and knowledge and I would be a fully fledged warlock, and have infinitely more freedom.
When I reached the top of the stairs, I headed left to my bedroom. It was sparse, with a small desk by the large windows, overlooking my garden. My bed was pushed to one side and a wardrobe on the opposite side and one comfy chair. I took of my bag, throwing it on the desk, and pulled off my robe. As soon as the heavy fabric hit the floor I threw myself face down on the bed. I groaned and stretched, grabbing a pillow to put under my head as I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep.
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"Honestly, Ibhan, you didn't even shower before getting into bed?" I heard my mothers voice ask and I groaned, turning over and sitting up, rubbing the side of my face that had been smooshed into the pillow.
"You know, I'm pretty sure this counts as breaking and entering," I told her as she leant in the doorway to my room.
"Clean up and come down, I brought some food," she said and she turned away, gliding silently back down the stairs. I sighed and grabbed some clean clothes and headed down the hall. Next door to my bedroom was a study, with 3 of the four walls lined with bookshelves, and a large desk in the middle. I had one medium sized spare bedroom, and at the end of the hall was a bathroom. I had splurged a little more on the bathroom, with both a shower in one corner and a large free standing tub on the other side. As much as I wanted to soak in the tub, I knew better than to keep my mother waiting, so I hopped into the shower instead.
For the first few minutes, I just stood there, letting hot water run over me as I let my mind wander. I tried not to focus too hard on any one thing, though I knew what I was trying to avoid as I finally began properly scrubbing away the last few weeks from my skin.
"You need a haircut," my mother said as I walked into the kitchen.
"I like my hair longer," I said as I pulled up one of the seats from my dining table as she heated some leftovers on the stove. She turned and looked at me, studying my face as she folded her arms across her chest.
"It makes you look like your brother."
"I know," I said and I thought I saw a small smile twitch at her lips before she turned around.
"I brought you some spicy soup," she said as she poured a bowl full of steaming red soup, a childhood favourite of mine. She handed me the bowl and a spoon and sat on the chair besides me. "Tell me about her," she said quietly and I stirred my soup for a while, a deep ache resurfacing.
"I can't," I said as I sipped my soup.
"Ibhan."
"It hurts," I said quickly, turning my face away. "Leaving was painful, and I dont want to relive it," I swallowed hard and took in a deep breath. My chest felt hollow and I hated it, I hated that I was going through this all over again.
"When are you taking your assessment?" my mother asked and I shrugged.
"Probably at the end of this month, I feel ready," I said and she nodded. I finished my soup in silence, my mother staring out of the window, chin in her hand. I stood up, the scraping of my chair deafening in the quiet, and rinsed off my bowl. "Thank you for the dinner," I said and I went back in to the living area, needing space from my mothers heavy presence.
"Ibhan," she called out from the kitchen after a few moments. "I need you to know that we don't have anything against you bringing a werewolf home," she said as she followed me into the living room and sat in a chair across from me. I flicked my wrist over the central fire and the blanket of shadows retreated, allowing the fire place to come to life. I scoffed and sat back, crossing my ankle over my knee.
"You think I left her behind because of what you, or shadows forbid, what my father might think? No mother, don't be quick to give yourself so much credit," I said, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.
"Don't talk to me that way," she hissed, "I was just making myself clear."
"I hear you," I murmured as I tried to push aside the images flashing in my mind. Freeze frames of Kyda that my brain had collected into a little photo album. The crinkle of her eyes when she spoke, the shine of her fur when she was in her wolf form, and the beautiful vivid green of her aura. My eyes shot open as I gasped for air, a shuddering breath barely filling my lungs.
My mother was by my side in an instant. She rubbed small circles on my back as I caught my breath, the hollowness deepening. My hands trembled, even when I clenched them into fists.
"Ibhan, let go," my mother whispered, "let yourself feel this loss before it kills you," she said as she stroked my hair back from my face.
"I can't," I said moving her hands away from me and standing up. I shook out my hands and took in another large breath. I was okay, I was breathing. I would survive.
"Ibhan, she is your light," my mother said, standing before me, almost as tall as I was, "leaving your light behind is not an easy thing to do." She placed her hands on either side of my face, forcing me to look straight at her, her shadow marks dancing across her skin, "my child, let yourself feel this loss." A shiver raced through my body and I felt my legs buckle.
"It hurts," I said, my throat constricted, heart thumping like a caged beast.
"I know," she said softly, and I placed my hands on her shoulders as a wave of emotion washed over me, squeezing my eyes shut. "That's it," she said, "let it come forward." A sound somewhere between a scream and a sob worked its way out of my throat and I wrapped my arms around my mothers frame, burying my face in her shoulder.
"It's okay," she said quietly as she rubbed my back, "loss is hard, but its part of life." My skin felt like it was on fire as I let go of all the thoughts I held back and my eyes burned. I tasted salt on my lips before I had even realised I was crying. Another sob racked my body, my legs finally giving way as I sunk to the floor, my mother in tow.
Wave after wave of grief and sadness washed over me, and it was intense. My body shuddered and ached as I cried, my face wet with tears I didn't know I could shed. I fisted my hands in my mothers robe as she whispered soft encouragements in my ear. For the first time in my life, I had let myself feel, and it consumed me in an inferno of pain.
I have a million other things to do but writing a bit of angst always takes priority!! What do we think of this chapter??? How do we feel after seeing Ibhan cry??????
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The Wand and the Wolf
Werewolf**COMPLETED** "You have a weird look on your face," I said and his frown deepened. "I do not," he closed his spell book and ran a hand through his shaggy hair. "Hmm," I hummed under my breath as I smoothed the crease between his brow. He grabbed my...
