Bucky Barnes X Y/n: I hate you, I love you

Chapter 20

I wasn't in the mood today, I didn't even go on the mission, but this is the one day a year I don't do anything and just stay in bed, so I don't have to deal with anyone or anything for that matter.

I don't why, but Bucky wouldn't leave my room to give me space, I needed it and honestly he was getting on my nerves that he wouldn't leave but he still wouldn't take it as a hint. Suddenly, the blanket was pulled off me as I looked up and saw him, 'I made soup', he says as I look over at the counter and notice the smell as well as the steam coming out of the pot as I sit up and walk over.

'Something came for you', he says as he slides a box over to me and I furrow my brows, I never ordered anything, so, this didn't make any sense. I opened the four flabs, seeing a note and picking it up as I opened it.

'Hi, kiddo, congrats on the mission, you got me good intel. I hope you're having fun with your new team; everyone says hi by the way, we miss you and hope you come to visit. This is just something we all put together for you, so enjoy it, and I even put in a little something to cheer you up. Happy Birthday Kid. We Love you, xxx. Coulson, May, Fitz, Simmons, Sky, Mack, Yo-yo, Hunter, and Bobby.

It read as I sighed under my breath, seriously, the thought ran across my mind as I put it back into the box when the door opened behind me, 'what's that', Sam questioned as I look at him, 'Nothing', I simply answered and pushed it aside whilst seeing Steve, Thor and Loki following behind him as they took a seat, 'aren't Wanda, Nat, Vision and Pietro coming', Bucky asked.

'Nat went to see her sister', Sam said as Bucky nods, 'Vision and Wanda have gone out', Steve says as I take a glance at the box, why would they send me something like this, they now how much I despise this day and yet they still got me something, which was something they shouldn't have done.

'Pietro went to get a new video game, we're playing it tonight', Thor said as they chuckled, and I looked at them whilst Bucky put a bowl in front of me and then proceeded to do the same so the four had a bowl too.

I looked down as I sighed again, this day, cannot get any worser, I can't eat chicken soup, it's just something I would never eat and it's just a kick to the gut to say the least.

'Staring at it wouldn't make it taste any better'. Steve says as I look up at him, 'maybe it will', Sam said whilst Bucky scoffed, 'I'll dump it on your lap Sam, so don't start with me', he says as they all laughed and I just pushed it to the side, 'I'm not hungry', I said.

'I can practically hear your stomach from here, so that's a lie', Steve says as I sighed under my breath, '...why are you not eating it', he questioned as I looked at my hands, I hate that he has a sick sense about me too, just like Coulson, 'It's just something my mom would make me, todays the anniversary of her death', I explained as I felt their watchful eyes on me, the one thing I wished my memory would have taken from me is the day of my birthday and the day my mother died, I hated that I knew and just wished it was completely wiped from my head.

I watched as Bucky grabbed my bowl, adding a pinch of salt in the process, I don't know what he was doing, but I wasn't about to eat it, 'my mom used to make me chicken soup too', he says as I look back at him, '...she taught me the recipe when I was old enough and we'd always make it together', he explained, '...anyway, now I make it just to remember her and whenever I do, it feels like she's with me', he says.

'Really', I questioned as he nods and looks up at me, 'try it', he says, grabbing a spoon full and then putting it next to me as I looked at it and then him, whilst he nods, and I just take another deep breath.

I ate it, keeping back my tears and everything else for that matter and I chewed and swallowed, 'do you not like it', he questioned.

'I like it', I said and then saw his gorgeous smile and continued to eat.

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Sam for some reason, put the box infront of me as I stared at him and then the box, 'aren't you opening it, it's a gift from Coulson after all', he says as I shook my head, 'I don't want to', I said as he proceeded to re – open the flabs for me. 'we'll help', he says as I sighed under my breath, honestly, they're annoying, the thought ran across my mind as he pushed it more open, 'let's see what's in there', he says as I sighed and did it for their amusement.

I moved the note to the side and then took the crinkled paper out of it, 'Aren't you reading the letter', Steve questioned as I shook my head, 'No, I've already read it', I said whilst I saw his slight nod and the first thing I see was a rectangular photo frame that was face down and had a post it note on it as I read it.

'We didn't have any photo's as a team, so this is the closest we got', the note read and saw a dash at the bottom of it, 'Fitz's idea of a joke', it said as I turned it around and saw a picture of the whole team surrounding me when I had a scalpel held against Fitz's throat, which made me smile, I thought it was funny, granted it was an accident and I had no clue who he was, but nevertheless, it was an accident.

'Can we see', Sam says again as I look up at them, I honestly forgot they we're in the room for a second then, and I turn it around so they could see it, 'what was happening there', Steve questioned as I smiled at the thought.

'Uhm, I didn't know he was in Coulson's team and when I thought he was a part of Hydra, Coulson stepped in before I killed him, so luckily he did', I explained as they grew to understand, and I went back to pulling out other things.

The next thing was a small box, a little one, so when I opened it, a spider sprung out which made me jump out of my seat and it's then I heard the five of them laugh at me, 'It's not funny', I said as they continued, 'it is M'Lady', Thor says as I sighed and rolled my eyes, 'okay, someone pick it up and throw it away, I don't want it anywhere near me', I said whilst Bucky got up from his seat, went over to where it fell and picked it up, 'here', he says as I ran to the other side of the room, 'you put it anywhere near me, I'll kill you', I said as they chuckled and I watched as he threw it into the trash.

The little sicko, I'm going to enjoy killing him, the thought ran across my mind as I sat back in my seat.

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The other things we're just a few other bits and when I reached the bottom, it was something wrapped up as I opened it and saw a blanket, not just any old one to, it was the one my mom made for me, the first question is, how did Coulson get it, and the second is, it looks just the same as always and even looks brand new for some reason, 'What is it', Loki asked.

'A blanket my mom made me', I said, hugging it and smiled under my breath, it smells exactly like her, well the both of us, mixed into one and it's honestly the best scent I've ever smelled and couldn't have asked for more, I loved this one more than anything, I don't know how Coulson found it or came upon it, but I was more then grateful.

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The four had started to head in, whilst I just stopped and enjoyed the rain, I loved days like this and didn't complain about it.

I stared up, allowing the droplets to bounce on my face as a smile grew on my face and I just enjoyed the tranquillity of it, I wished it stayed like this forever, the rain makes me happy and washes away all my worries and doubt for hours until it stops, and I come back to reality.