Bucky Barnes X Y/n: I hate you, I love you

Chapter 22

My lips had been quivering the instant I gave Bucky permission to help clean me up, it wasn't him that was making uncomfortable or anything, it was the words I let in when the man had his hands over my mouth, the one I had punched, how could I not remember, what the hell is wrong with me that I wouldn't remember something so big that like.

How dare he put his hands on me, how dare he use me, how dare he... I was interrupted in my thoughts when I heard Bucky talking, my thought quickly subsided as he looked deep into my soul, almost like he was going to pierce it, 'Stop thinking Y/n... just concentrate on what I'm saying', he soothed as I began to look down, my lips quivering again, '...I...', I began to say, but he pulled me against him, and my head involuntarily was tucked into his shoulder, 'I know... I heard what he said, and I killed him for it', he implied and then my eyes shot up, I know how he promised Steve and the team he'd never kill anyone again, but he went back on that promise, for me, so before he said anything, I wrapped my legs around his waist and hug him closer to me, 'You didn't...', my voice broke and when I wanted to finish, he interrupts me, 'I wanted to', he says and squeezes me.

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After I had showed, put some fresh PG's on and got back into the room, I found it empty and looked around.

Oh, she says, I thought he'd stay.

Me too, I said, because I wanted him to stay with me so I didn't have to be alone tonight and go over every scenario from the events that happened tonight.

When I buried myself in the covers, it was only a moment after that that I heard the door swing open and shut, then the covers being thrown off of me and I was met with Bucky.

'I thought you went to bed', I said and sat up again whilst he shakes his head, 'I told you', he starts and plugs the hair dryer to the wall, 'I'd never leave you again', he finishes and it's then the same thing happens again and something takes flight in my stomach again, 'I'll help you dry your hair', he says and I stare at him, 'Oh uhm, you don't need to do that Bucky', I said as he gentle put both his hands on my waist and steered me to turn, 'I'm not a bike', I tell him and listen to his chuckle.

'Well stop moving so I can clean you up properly', he said as I sat there, my legs crossed whilst I looked down at my hands and he began to comb my hair out, and it's then I noticed how gentle he was being, even with the knots when the comb ran over them.

'Your being too nice', I said, 'are you dying', I ask and it's then he gives my head a small tap with the brush and I look back at him with a frown, 'that's what happens when you say stupid things to me', he says and then laughs at me whilst I roll my eyes, 'If you don't want me to go back to hating you, I suggest you be nice to me', I said and he chuckles again and continues with my hair.

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When he combed through it one last time, and set the hairdryer down on the table, he sat beside me and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as I stare at him, even with that small gesture, I'm already swooning over him, and when I'm ready to punch myself in the gut for losing focus, he lifts my chin with his finger and uses it to put some plutonium jelly on it, which actually soothed away the burn I had on there moments ago.

'Much better', he states as I watch him and his eyes meet mine, this time they we're brighter and filled with a smile, that I found it hard to look away.

'I guess we know what some of your powers are', he says and I sigh to myself, good that he mentioned that, because now the moments ruined, 'I don't want it, the sooner it's out, the better', I implied and he watches me again whilst I move my eyes to my hands.

'I took a picture', he states and when I look up, I'm looking at his phone screen with a picture pulled out on it, but I didn't see anything on it, until he began to zoom in and I saw a huge dome, almost shield like, but it was invisible except for the bright white stars captivating it and gold streeks flowed through it, 'It's not something to be ashamed off', he states, 'because it's apart of you and it's beautiful', he adds and then I'm staring at him.