Spidey AU's

Hurry Up And Bring The Camera

My take on the adult Peter has a secret house and family trope.

"So, we usually visit a different family each year, last year was Clint's, meaning this year's is?" Cap was leading the meeting, treating it far more seriously than any of them ever would a world threat.
"I think we should visit Peter's," Nat grinned triumphantly at the looks of shock on everyone else's face.
"Your aunt's wonderful, Pete, but I don't think we'd all fit in her apartment," Tony tried to politely dismiss the idea.
"Oh, I, um, actually moved out a couple of years back," he looked at the floor.
"Well then, if there's enough space, and we wouldn't be intruding, it would be lovely to see your place," Nat encouraged, "How soon could we get there, we're all ready?"
Peter pulled out his phone, and rang someone, "Honey, we're hosting! I'm gonna need a portal in about five minutes."
Everyone scattered to get their stuff and meet back in the communal area.

"So I feel like someone should have mentioned it earlier, but portal?" Clint questioned, checking that everyone had a bag in case portal travel didn't sit well with them. Before Peter could respond, a sparkling, golden portal appeared in front of them. He stepped towards it, then paused, "Please carry your luggage through, throwing it generally ends with someone on the other side getting hit," and he went through, leaving them behind to deal with the fact this happened enough that they needed to be warned not to do it. They all stepped through after, and came out to see Peter waiting for them, Michelle, Ned, another woman - her name might have been Betty? - Shuri, and a guy none of them knew. Apart from Tony apparently, as he shouted a shocked, "Harley?"
Before they'd finished processing this, a young girl ran out, yelling, "You're back!" Peter caught her and swung her around then when she was safely on the ground giving her some instructions, "Go tell Claire to let George finish his meeting, no one's bleeding out, and ask who got it right this time, and I think you might be able to try the cookies she baked." The girl was clearly pleased with this plan, as she nodded delightedly and raced to the house to the left.

They all sat down in the main room that was clearly lived in and Ned returned to his computer, while the others made small talk. Eventually Tony broke, "Why are you here? And I can't remember who you are?" his first question was directed at Harley, Shuri and Betty. His second question was just for Betty.
"Well, I live here with my husband, and someone here needs to be able to portal without technology," Harley looked amused explaining this.
"My wife decided she needed an excuse to chat to the neighbours, and I moved here to be that excuse," Shuri went next, also enjoying watching most of the team try and puzzle out who was together.
"Our colleagues either live next door or swing by at least once a week, so it was a sensible place to stay for work. I'm Betty," Betty went last and each of the couples cuddled on a sofa together, as Tony was the only one who hadn't worked it out. The door opened and the girl from before raced in with cookies and popcorn. Peter yelled to whoever was left in the doorway, "Hurry up and bring the camera, we're about to watch Tony's breakdown!"

"Married? But what about your girlfriend, Peter, Harley? And what do you mean the only one who can portal without technology?" he determinedly ignored the popcorn getting passed around. Harley and Peter looked at each other, then at MJ and Shuri, and burst out laughing. "Oh, you actually thought we both had a girlfriend? We figured it was some strange inside joke we were all in on. And the wizard taught us all, but the others generally don't have enough time or concentration to cast them without tech," Harley told him after finishing laughing.
"But- but, why are you all living together?" he was truly despairing, but Peter couldn't find any sympathy.
"Well, MJ and I bought the house together, and when we split we both knew we were better as friends so kept living together. Then MJ and Shuri started dating and both lived here because we talked and everyone was cool with it. Then Harley and I started dating, and again everyone agreed so he also moved in, it was then that Claire and George started wondering what was going on. Then I started bringing those who got injured on patrol back here because Claire's the vigilantes' main nurse. It was then that everyone started betting on who I was going to turn up with next. Then Harry got involved and that made it even crazier, which was when Ned and Betty moved in. That's just how life's been for the past few years, even after we adopted Carlie. It was Sally who put the child they adopted as a correct guess. So, Claire who guessed the Avengers?" Peter just moved on as if this wasn't a massive amount of information to take in.
"No one," seeing the residents incredulous stares, she clarified, "No one said all of them at the same time, but some put individual names."
George handed out the cookies, explaining who he was, "I went to school with them, and there's a bit of a running joke where Peter'll get back and Claire will yell that he's brought another one back, then we both rush out panicked to help whoever would be bleeding out."

From there the conversation flowed much easier and Peter was just relieved that most of the important people in his life got along.

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