The Sound of Her Heartbeat

5. It Hurts

Jenny's pov (Few days later):

"You're just TOO damn beautiful" I complimented Shaylin in a nonchalant voice, looking at my computer screen.

"Aww, stop it" She can't stop blushing, for the past hour I've been non stop complimenting her, she has dressed up for her date with Adam. 

"Spaghetti in the fridge" She says "warm it up before eating, and don't wait for me" then she gives a kiss in my forehead and heads to the door.

"Bye ... wait, what do you mean not to wait?" I got curious, something tells me I'm not gonna like it. 

"I don't know" Shay is still blushing "we've been on a few dates already, things are getting (coughs) romantic" she winks at me. "Might be a fun night after dinner" she said mischievously.

I think I felt a wringing in my intestines. "Oh" that's all managed to squeak out, then I said "have fun" in a shaky voice, trying hard not burst into tears.

Shaylin left, she is gonna have a good night with Adam, or rather, Adam will be the luckiest bastard tonight. 

I am just breaking apart, bawling my eyes out on the couch. I feel like screaming. What the hell, why does it hurt so much? I forgot eating, can't even tell if I'm hungry. 

I can't see MY Shaylin, with anyone else, much less tolerate someone even touching her romantically, I know it's stupid as fuck, but I just can't. Jesus what's wrong with me? I need to get it together. But it hurts.

I'm wiping my tears, trying to breathe normally for a few minutes, then crying again. Hell, my eyes started to hurt, I feel exhausted, can't even tell when I fell asleep.

*In the morning*

"Jen..." as if a sweet voice calling me from far. "Jen, baby? Hey", I slowly opened my eyes, it's Shay! God her voice is so soothing it might tuck me into sleep again. I feel her hand gently caressing my hair. 

"Hey babe, you okay?" 

"Mmh" I moaned in sleepiness, it's hard to open my eyes, they're hurting. "When did you come?" I ask in a low sleepy voice.

"Just now" she said "why are you sleeping on the couch?"

I suddenly remember the last night. I slowly sat up, gently rubbed eyes to shake of the sleepiness, my lower eyelids are stupidly swollen. 

Shaylin's pov:

Oh god did she cry last night? Why is her eyelids are swollen like this? What the hell... 

"Jen" I am looking at her. She barely looked at me as I said her name. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah yeah" she mumbles "just a bad night sleep".

"What happened to your eyes?"

"Oh, I uh, kinda had some nightmares.. bad sleep.. it's fine.."

She is trying to sound normal but I know it's not. "Ok" I said, "I'll take a shower then we'll have lunch together".

"Wait" I hear the confusion in her drowsy voice "lunch? What time is it??"

"Um" I looked on my phone "12:15"

"Oh" looks like she lost the track of time.

I left her there to take her time and wake up properly, need my shower. Last night with Adam was, well, steamy! And it wasn't just some casual sex, we both were into it. It was a really good night! 

'He likes me' I am thinking it in the shower, we had a nice breakfast, he even drove me to my apartment and we planned a normal date tonight. This thought made me smile. 

Then it hit me, is this why Jen upset?

I remember back in the college days, when I used to go out with this guy, she was really off for quite a while, slowly returned to normal after I broke up with him cause I wanted things to be normal between me and Jenny. 

I may have spoiled her but never have I imagined she would be, like, jealous of my relationships to this extent. 

Done with shower, I went to check the fridge. As I thought, she didn't eat, the spaghetti is still there. 

So she didn't sleep, cried all night and with an empty stomach, wow!

"Heyy" I said to Jen as she comes out her room, looking a bit fresh but still kind of tired.

"Took a shower" She said, not looking at me. 

Usually she hugs me or annoys me for fun whenever I am in the kitchen, but she is in the living room, completely unresponsive, looking at her phone as I am preparing some food.

We ate silently. This silence is getting on my nerves. Like, what the hell is happening, when did things get so off between us? Why am I noticing it only now? 

After doing the dishes I went to my room. She is sitting on the couch silently, thought I should leave her alone for now. 

It's been like a month since I've been dating Adam, have I been this oblivious that I never noticed that something happened? The three of us hung out before, we ate at Finny's, drove around the city. Sometimes her and I even casually talked to him on loud speaker. Jenny never said anything bad about him, then what is it?

As I am sitting on my bed thinking about that, suddenly noticed Jenny is standing by the door, leaning on the hinge looking down, silent.

That's it, I can't take it anymore. "Babe come here" I put my hands towards her gesturing to come to me. She looks at me, I can see the relief in her face. She walked to my bed as I laid down on my back, she slowly laid beside me, putting her head on my chest.

"Wanna take a nap?" 

"Aha" 

That was such a low whimpering voice that it just squeezed my heart. 

What am I missing? Of all people, Jenny is the one person whom I can't see sad. Like, she is a bit moody to begin with but I can tell when something is off. It hurts me even if she is a little sad, she cried all night for fuck's sake, how do I even deal with that?

"Jen" I asked softly, "Did you cry last night?" I feel her hand at my waist, clawing my shirt tight. Guess I hit a nerve.

"It's okay baby, we'll talk later, get some rest" I said softly and caressing her hair as I am firmly holding her head on my chest. She loves the sound of my heartbeat, addicted to it. Maybe it'll do the trick.

I'm gently stroking her hair and giving soft kisses on her head and in a few minutes she is out cold on my chest. Phew, at least she is finally sleeping. Guess we'll talk later.