The Sound of Her Heartbeat

41. Starting Anew

Shaylin's pov (Few weeks later):

The train is rushing through the beautiful fields as we're both enjoying the scenario from our compartment. I'm enjoying more than Jenny because she's expecting a whole new situation at her hometown, so her mind is a bit absent.

The last time when Agnes (Jenny's mom) had visited our apartment, she told us that she's going to demolish their old house and build a new villa on the same plot! 

"Hey.." I snapped her back to the present "you okay?"

She took a slow deep breath nervously then said "Shay.. I don't know what to expect." 

Honestly, if I was her, I wouldn't have known what to feel either. "Well.." I reminded her "you told your mom that you're not against it." 

"No of course not" She agreed "but... when mom asked me if I had any problem, I told her that I never really had any good memory or emotional connection to that place.. (pause) so I don't understand why she wants me there."

Fair enough, but I can sense she's gradually spiraling down to a hole of anxiety. I sat next to her and took her hands into mine, noticed her helpless look. "Oh babe.." I'm speaking in a soft voice, snuggled her cheeks with my nose while mushing our faces. Then asked "do you want my take on it?" She looked at me, her eyes are subconsciously asking for help. 

Me: "I think now that you've started to reconnect with your hometown, Agnes wants you to have your own place, and... maybe she wants you to have some closure."

Jenny: "But (confused) I thought we had already moved on."

Me: "And yet, both of you lived with repressed bad memories for long enough which were relieved only the last time you visited there, right?"

Jenny: "Yeah... I suppose so."

Me: "Maybe this way, she's letting both you and herself know, that you two are truly moving on from the past, and starting something anew!"

I can see my words getting through her. She stayed quiet for a few moments, then finally gave a little smile of relief, looked at me gratefully and asked "How do you always make me feel so much better?"

I shrugged playfully replying "Well, I can't see you sad soo (comically shaking head) guess I get creative" We both laughed, then I held her face in my hands as she's grabbing them and softly kissed her. 
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After a few minutes I've returned to my seat, kept being amazed at the beautiful scenarios through the window! I looked at Jenny, she's finally relaxed, gave me a cute smile then gazed back outside, enjoying the view as well. 

Jenny's pov: 

Mom: "So the boundary can start from north side?"

Uncle Jerry: "Yeah, Hoyt's paddy field is the closest but still got space between yours and his land, and..."

They are talking about the construction planning for the new villa. Shay and I arrived couple hours ago, settled in the guest room just like before, then joined them in the living room during the discussion. 

I became bored soon so I subtly left. Shaylin noticed, she followed me out. We took directions from a local to my former house then started to walk there, it's a simple way.

"So this is it huh?" Shay asked, holding my hand. "Yeah" I whispered, can't believe I'm standing right in front of the house that we had left ages ago. I didn't visit the last time even though it's just few minutes from Uncle Jerry's home, I just didn't want to, but now that I'm here...

"You okay babe?" Her affectionate tone is sheltering me even though there's nothing wrong with this place right now. I looked at her and whispered "You're voice is really comforting me." She scoffed, caressed and kissed my cheek then asked "Wanna go inside?" Her question just made realized.. that I want to.    
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It's empty, dust and dirt everywhere. I found a switchboard, luckily some lights are still working. I stood near the living room's door, Shay stood right beside me. "Mom was standing there" I said pointing my finger, the memories... seeing this room again made them so vivid! "My da... that guy, shattered a bottle on her head.."

"What...!!" That shocked Shay. I never told her any details. I kept talking "Then I ran to her..." 'mommyy' (memories of my scream rushing through) "He didn't hesitate to hit me..." still glaring blank into the room, "and I hurled around here.. crashed into this wall..." I stopped, squeezed my eyes shut. Those dreadful memories may not scare me anymore, but there are not erasing either. 

Suddenly I felt Shay's wrapping hug, made me open my eyes, felt like someone pulled me out from an abyss into the light! I can see tears sparkling in her eyes, looking at me softly. Then gave a gentle peck on my lips. 

The place where I've felt the worst hate in my life, just got washed away by a little touch of love! I don't know if there is a limit of how much I can be grateful to this woman! I took a few seconds to realize how I'm really feeling. Then held her hands, looked at her and said "Don't worry babe.. I'm not afraid anymore!" My voice maybe quivering, but I can feel my own confidence! 

Shay held my face shedding a tear, she's proud of me! I can see it in her eyes. I wiped both our tears, held her hands locking our fingers and kissed on the back of her hand. Then confidently said "Let's go babe, I got nothing left in this dump." 

She laughed, then also kissed the back of my hand, touched my cheek and proudly said "That's my girl.." making both of us smile. 

We came out holding hands, feeling refreshed and better than ever. To my little surprise, Mom, Uncle Jerry, Aunt Rosie and Ben were standing right outside, smiling at us as we walked to them. Mom held my face and asked "You okay kiddo?" I grabbed her wrists, turned to Shaylin and replied "Much better.." 

That made everyone realize that Shaylin being there with me somehow helped me. Mom caressed her cheek and said in an emotional voice "Shaylin, hon, I don't even know what to say.." then hugged us both.

Not only us three, everyone else joined in and stood with us in a group hug. After all these years, the word 'family', doesn't sound so bad.