The Sound of Her Heartbeat

11. Advice From a Frenemy

Jenny's pov:

I literally slept like a breastfed baby all night. It's been a while since I've slept so peacefully. Shay's heartbeat rhythm is the music that works magic in my ears.

We both got group meeting at the office today. Nothing crazy, just some briefing for the next week's work. The morning was pretty normal, we kind of forgot about last night's conversation, let it fade away like an unwanted memory, which is good. I was feeling bad for being a complete idiot but she has been normal which helped me to be normal.

Right now Shay and I are at the cafeteria cause it's break time. "Well" she says "finally we can work on the same project".

Me: "Yeah, no need to come here for next couple weeks so that's a relief." 

Shaylin: "Hey now, I like this place, I don't mind coming here."

Me: "Of course you don't, you know how to be a people's person."

Shaylin: "Well" (poking fun) "maybe you should give it a try too instead sitting in our apartment all day like a homesick."

"Ugh" I rolled my eyes. She saw that and chuckled. "Hey look!" She pointed outside, this office has a small outdoor garden in the balcony, sometimes birds hang out there. She loves to watch that.

But I'm not seeing that, I'm staring at Shaylin, resting my cheek on my hand in a thinking stance. My god she is beautiful! 

She looked at me staring at her, laughed adorably, squeezed my nose then went back to watching the birds. I could just watch this woman forever, wish I could tell her how I truly feel, how I always felt.

"Shaylin?" A voice just broke my trance, we both turned around, it's Adam! Oh right, forgot they are in the same design group. I guess he couldn't join the meeting earlier. "Heyy" Shay and Adam both greeted each other at the same time and hugged. The moment they hugged I had to control the urge to punch the fuck outta his face. 

But whatever, in any case they're good friends, so I shouldn't feel like that. Also, I do think he is a good guy, I never really hated him to begin with. It's not that we never talked before, but Shaylin was always present, he is easy to talk to.

He saw me and greeted me too "Oh hey Jenny, been a while" He sounds genuine. "Yeah" I responded not too excited "good to see you again."

They proceeded to talk to each other, for whatever reason, I'm not feeling that stupid jealously-insanity combo this time. More like just waiting for them to finish their reunion.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" Adam's voice startled me. "Um sure?" I am confused, of all the people, why would he want to talk to me?

He sat beside me with his coffee, I don't see Shaylin nearby, "I asked Shaylin to borrow you for a few minutes", noticed the skeptical look on my face and puts his hands up like surrendering "Don't worry, I'm not gonna take her away from you again" then laughed.

Okay, he gets points for that, made me chuckle. "No no, I don't think like that" I said, his spontaneity is reassuring.

Adam: "Listen um, I know we haven't been much of close friends or anything but I'd like to talk to about some stuff, and offer some advice if it's okay." 

Me: "Um, yeah sure."

Adam: "Jenny.. me and Shaylin, really had a meaningful relationship, it was going somewhere, I liked her, I really did"

Me: (looking down) "I'm sorry"

Adam: "Yeah, me too.. thanks..." (pauses) "Okay, let me get straight to it, you know, I've seen bestfriends, but I've never seen a pair like you two... maybe... I think it's only fair for her to know how you feel."

That kinda caught me off guard. "What?" I asked, questioning in my mind 'how does he know how I feel?'

It's like he read the curiosity on my face "I'm good at reading this thing, this is not the first time I saw you staring at her like that you know."

I don't think I have the energy to argue with that. I shouldn't trust someone so easily but he feels genuinely harmless. I looked down and asked "Adam, what do you want me to do?" sounding helpless. 

He scoffs, I can see the victory smug on his face that I lowkey admitted. 

Adam: "That was easy."  

I shrugged and waved my hand, gesturing a 'whatever'.

Adam: "Well, Don't you think she deserves to know?"

Me: "Know what? That her bestfriend is in love with her for all our friendship? That I got romantic feelings for her? That I selfishly wants her all to myself all the time?..."

There is a few moments of silence, then he spoke "Listen, our relationship wasn't one sided, she really liked me too, this breakup was as much of a heartbreak to her as to me, and she still did it for you... I've never seen anyone would go that far for their bestfriend, what does that tell you?" .... "Jenny you may have been in love with her, but she loves you much more."

Can't say that I disagree to that, she indeed loves me too much!

"What's the worst can happen?" He adds "She might not feel the same way? But she would never abandon you even if she knew, at least give her a chance with your truth."

Wow, I really misjudged this guy out of jealousy, he sure is a very thoughtful person.

Adam: "I'm not giving you hope in advance, but the way I see it, you two are meant to be... also, I don't what you think of me but I truly care about her, Shaylin deserves to be happy, and I think she can have that happiness with you, but she needs to find that feeling within her, whether she does or not.. you need to let her know that she CAN..."

He takes a second and continued "and if she doesn't, at least she will finally understand what's going on and you both can move on as bestfriends, but if she doesn't know how you feel, she will keep holding off on her life for you, thinking that it's just a jealousy from her bestfriend, I'm not trying to blame you Jenny, but that's just Shaylin, we both know that, you more than me."

I took a moment to process what he said, he made an awful lot of sense. I look at him in gratefulness and said "I.. I don't know if I'll be able to do it right, but Adam.. thanks, thanks a lot for talking to me, it helped and.. I can see what Shay saw in you."

"Oh damn.. I'm flattered" He laughed, made the environment a bit lighter. "I know, this conversation came outta nowhere and might've felt intrusive, but... thanks a lot for talking to me and not thinking I'm a weirdo" He laughed.

I laughed too and said "Can't judge you dude, I'm a weirdo myself". 

"Haha well... let this be a moment of friendship, as we both want to see her happy" he put his hand towards me for a shake.

I smilingly shook his hands, this was my first proper socialization. We bid goodbye to each other in good will. Guess this means the only thing left is to tell Shaylin.