The Sound of Her Heartbeat

8. Wrong Time, Right Place

Jenny's pov:

Had to attend a group meeting at office today so Shaylin wanted to invite over Adam for breakfast. Honestly, I gotta make peace with it. Like, what else should I do, say no? 

I told her that I'll be back around evening cause I thought there is a lot of work. Turned out to be a briefing session so I'm out early.

I'm at this spot called Highpoint Woods, it's also a nice place. I don't think I brought Shay here, I should. The view from up here is breathtaking! I sometimes come here alone to think about me and her. 

I sat here for a few minutes, then started to head for home. It's almost lunch time. I don't know if Adam is still at our place, maybe. I don't think I've made a nice impression on him so far. I should though, for Shay's sake. 

While walking back home from work, I remember the last two nights.

*Flashbacks - night before yesterday*

I just can't get enough of her hug, needed to be close like this once again. After a while we came back in the living room from the balcony.

Shaylin: "What do you want in dinner?" 

Me: "I don't know, whatever's easy."

Shaylin: "Ok, I'll make some spaghetti, and oh, dispose the old one in the fridge."

Oh that's right. I didn't eat and cried to sleep on the couch because she had a 'fun night'. Sigh, I feel like an angsty teenager who needs constant supervision.

*Yesterday night*

I'm laying my head in Shay's chest on the couch. She's gently stroking my hair. I hear her soft voice "Jen, I need to ask, why were you so upset?"

I can't tell the truth here and now. But I guess she should know at least something. "Well" ... "you know me Shay" I sighed "I don't know why, I was feeling very insecure when you went out for the night."

Shaylin: "But why?"

Me: "I kinda... I mean... I know it's very selfish, but I'm always depending on you, needing you, when I see you become intimate with someone else, I fee like that.. like, you'd start to love me less or something" Jeez, that sounded even stupid to me. There is a reason I don't share.

Shaylin: "Oh god, Jen" (shakes head) "Honey, it's been more than 8 years, how we lived so close - don't you think you should have more confidence in our friendship by now?"

I buried my head in her chest whining "I knooww I should" sounding guilty. She scoffed, held my head firm to her chest and said "Fine, tell me what do you want? Do you want me not to be in a relationship?" then kissed on my head.

Jesus this goddess! "No no, it's not like that.." I answered hastily, then said "you know what, I need to grow out of it, Shay I'd want to see you happy and I'll try to be more understanding, hell, I'll hang out with you and Adam more. I DO think he is a nice guy who treats you well and friendly to me too. So I need to feel normal about it, right? It's fine" I said that but I couldn't even convince myself with that voice.

We sat silently for a few moments. I don't know if she's convinced or whatever she is thinking right now. Finally she asked "Didn't you say you have to go to a meeting tomorrow?"

Me: "Yeah?"

Shaylin: "Well, I was thinking to invite Adam over here from breakfast, he never really hangs out here, is that okay?"

Me: "Yeah yeah, I guess I'll see you guys after work?"

She stayed silent for a while and said "hmm, okay" I don't know if I'm imagining it but she kinda sounded a bit serious. 

"Did I say anything wrong?" I asked hesitantly.

She laughed and said "No, you're fine" then snuggled her face in my head, gave a kiss and said "Go sleep, you got work tomorrow."

*Flashbacks end*

I said that I'll hang out with them but somewhere in the back of my mind, I still can't process Shay being with anyone else and I feel guilty about it, it's eating me inside out.

"Hah" I shook it away  "I gotta grow up" I whispered to myself. Adam maybe still at our place. I think I should buy some after-lunch coffee for the three of us, as a gesture of goodwill or whatever.

I started to walk towards Finny's, "It's gonna be okay, it'll be a good start" I whispered to convince myself. 

*Text Notification*

Shay: "Hey, we had lunch out, I'll be a little late, see you in the evening."

That's weird, maybe she wants hang out with Adam alone? "Guess I AM the third wheel here" I whispered to myself, damn it, made myself depressed again.

Oh well, gonna buy some takeout for lunch from Finny's since I'm already close to it and eat at home. In a few minutes I arrived there. 

What I didn't expect is to find Shaylin and Adam there, locked in a kiss...