The Sound of Her Heartbeat

56. Cycle of Life

Agnes's pov:

(A month later)

It feels a bit different since I woke up this morning. Not sick, not ill, no pain or discomfort, just weird. As if my body is trying to tell me something.

I opened the bottom drawer of my nightstand. There is a folded piece of paper, it's a letter for Jenny and Shaylin that I never gave them. I wrote it a few days ago, legally willed it for them to have it after my death. Bit of an overkill but that's something I fancied. For some reason I wanted to read it now, to see if everything that I want to tell them is written.

I came out to be greeted by a warm sunlight, such a beautiful day! Ernie, my neighbor is watering his plants in the yard. I went over there, talked to him for a while then said goodbye thanking him for being a good neighbor all these years. 

I got into the taxi I called earlier, today I'm supposed to have lunch with the girls at Finny's, their favorite cafe. I've eaten lunch there couple times before with them, the foods are really good! While in the car, I facetimed my cousin Jerry, his wife Rosie and their son Ben. They've been such good relatives to me all my life. 

After the call I've been reminiscing this past month. Jenny and Shaylin visited Yenville with me a few more times. We had a really good family time together and a lot of fun! I don't know why suddenly I teared up thinking about those memories. Well, at least my kid has a caring home in that town. I finally did something for her even though she never asked for anything. Such a good kid I had! 

And Shaylin, the kindest person I've ever known, my Jenny is sure lucky to have her. Couldn't be any prouder of their promotions. Both have a bright future ahead of them. I got nothing but best wishes for these girls. 
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I've arrived near the cafe. I tipped the driver extra before he left, thanked me with a grateful smile. It feels great to make strangers happy sometimes! I'm walking towards the cafe, that weird feeling in my whole body is still there, it's making me sad, but.. also a bit satisfied. I don't know how else to describe it. As if I'm happy that I've finally lived a happy life but I wish I could live it some more with Jenny, why do I feel like that? Well, at least she's happy...

There they are! Jenny and Shaylin, are walking towards me while waving. I waved at them too... suddenly I'm feeling a sharp pain in my chest! Oh god what is it? The whole world feels like revolving around me, my vision is getting blurry! I've felt like this before when I had that stroke, but this one.. this one feels different...

"MOOMM.." I hear a faint scream as I can barely watch Jenny and Shaylin running to me. Right before I collapsed they caught me. "Mom.. MOM.." I hear a distraught voice from Jenny, the whole world feels getting darker except the faces of hers and Shaylin's. 

My Jenny, she looks so innocent, so radiant, why is she crying? I tried to open my mouth to say "it's okay baby, don't cry" ... but I can't find any energy. Is this it? I don't know, but I have no complaint, in a flash my whole life went through my eyes. Right before I closed my eyes I felt a little drop, Jenny's tear on my forehead. I looked at her, I suddenly saw the little Jenny from all those years ago! Then I saw the present her back. 

My little Jenny's all grown up! I'm so lucky to be her mother. I think I'm smiling, am I? Who knows, but why is she crying...? 
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I blinked my eyes open, where am I? Took me a few minutes to realize that I'm in a hospital bed. My vision is still blurry but I think a nurse rushed to me...
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"Agnes" a faint voice made my eyes open. Is it Shaylin? Yes it is! She's sitting on my left, "Mom" another faint voice, I turned right and Jenny's sitting there. Did the nurse let them in?

Why are both teary? Everything's fine. This is just the cycle of life, we should be happy that we got to spend such good times together. I'll take those memories with me in my eternal sleep. Yes, I can feel it this time, it's okay. I don't have any regrets anymore. At least I'm not leaving Jenny alone, she has someone, and that makes me truly relieved.

Both of them are holding my hands. I tried my best to smile at them from under this oxygen mask... Hey look! They smiled back! That's all I wanted to see before I close my eyes forever. Aww, such kind, sweet kids. I used my last shred of energy to put my hands on their heads, as my final blessing. I can feel couple of tears leaving my eyes, tears of happiness. As I feel my falling hands are carefully grabbed by the girls, I slowly closed my eyes. What a peaceful way to go, I feel no pain and have the girls at my side for the last time, can't ask for anything more. 

My hands are in theirs, and with a grateful smile, I closed my eyes....