Randomly Thereafter | SakuAtsu

• Embraced •

I felt a warm sensation in my left hand as I gained consciousness.

It's comforting and really warm... like the sun... It's a very familiar touch I always long for.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and blink few times to adjust my vision. I shifted my head and stared at the crib where my babies are sleeping.

I squinted my eyes to see them through the thin two-toned bluish pink mosquito-net.

I smiled to myself.

I closed my eyes and felt at ease with the contact in my left hand

I looked at my left and saw Omi kneeling into the floor, his head is resting on top of his folded arm which holds my hand.

His sleeping face is glimmering with peace, but his face also tells a story that Omi has to battle on... what we have to battle on...

The thought of what had happened earlier that day, makes me subtly weak... Making Omi cry and angry like that.... makes me want to hug him tight, if he'll only let me.

I make Omi, my husband, suffer... It's my fault for not listening... It's my fault for going in the resort even Omi told me not to..

I'm a stubborn good for nothing partner...

I started to retreat my left hand slowly feeling the guilt raising into my chest.

"Ts.. Tsumu.." he unconsciously called out making me stop a little.

I bit my lower lip trying my best to hold my tears and sob.. but few whimpers escaped from my lips from time to time

I successfully withdrew my hand from him, and I felt his arm on my abdomen.

He breathes evenly and nuzzled more into his folded arm, making his charcoal black hair covered half of his face.

I brushed away those hair from his face with my right hand so I could clearly see my husband's face.

There are tears in the corners of his eye so I caressed his face and dry his tears with my thumb.

"Tsumu.. I'm here.." he whispered again

I stopped and put my right hand away from Omi.

Tears continued welling up into my own eyes as I felt the guilt entirely covering my head and chest.

I whimpered fully and I instantly covered my face with my palms and muffled my sound trying not to wake Omi.

I bended my knees a little having the trembling feeling with my body.

I cry silently like this for I don't know how long, but suddenly felt a movement from Omi.

I don't have a face to show Omi.. So I relaxed my tensed body and lay here pretending to sleep still. I brushed my tears away and took a deep breath.

I closed my eyes, and straightened my legs.

I heard a deep yawn from my husband, and a rustling sound from him.

Silence..

Did he leave the room already?

"Tsumu..." I heard he said loud and clear.

I felt a warm kissed into my skin.. into my forehead.. He's probably straddling me as I felt his arms in both of my sides.

"I.. I'm sorry, Tsumu." he whispered.

My heart beats so fast, that I almost opened my eyes from the sensation...

Almost..

I felt his breath near my face, as a mellow sound escaped from his lips.

I felt a soft, familiar touch in my lips, but easily gone as I heard him curse a little.
"Shit."

The next thing I know is hearing footsteps goin' out of the room.

I opened my eyes, and touched my lips with my right thumb and index finger.

I looked at the door and sighed.

"Omi..."

I started stirring myself up and sat on the same couch, knees bended where my chest lean into. I buried my face into my knees and let out a sigh I have been holding for quite some time now.

"Atsumu-kun..."

I lifted my face to see Suga-san carrying some baby bottle with milk in a tray.

"How are you feeling? Would you like me... to bring you something to eat?" Suga-san offered as he placed the tray down in the table beside the crib

I shook my head.
"I'll just head in the kitchen myself..." I replied

"Okay... Are you sure?"

"Yes." I answered

Suga-san looked over to the crib and smiled sweetly.

"Suga-san..." I called as I put my feet into the floor.

"Yes, Sir?" he looked at me with his kind expression.

"Ahm.. Where's Omi?"

"Oh.. He just left, Sir.. For work he said.." he answered walking near the couch

"Right... Ahmm... I.. I'm sorry I broke down earlier..." I said lowering my head as I stared down into the floor.

"There really no reason to apologize. We can't control our feelings, Atsumu-kun. No need to feel ashamed, we all feel defeated sometimes, it's normal... What's not normal is feeling nothing at all. Feelings are really difficult to express.... frustration, sadness, desperation... that we usually just cry... but at the end of the day, even if we cry, we should know, we are always vulnerable to pain because we are human, with human feelings..." he said staring at me..

Suga-san knew what happened... He knew everything.

Did Omi opened up to him?

That's unusual for my husband.. opening up to others.... He may have been feeling so bad about it... and can't hold it himself.

I sighed.

I don't know but my eyes get blurry and I felt droplets of tears into my lap.

I lowered my head.
"It's fine. Let it out." a sweet soft voice echoed through my ear as I felt a warm embrace from Suga.

I cried and cried in tons. My lungs hurt but I couldn't stop... The pain inside my chest is unbearable and I can't breath steadily. I choked up everytime... It's painful.