Pain Is Power

44: Crash Cart

"Sweetie she'll be fine," Peppa said playing with my hair trying to soothe me. "When are they back?" Yelena asked my knee wouldn't stop bouncing and my heart was pounding in my chest it physically hurt. "They're pulling in," Thor said and I stood to my feet too quickly going light-headed in the process but ignored it and rushed to the medical entrance of the compound Yelena not far behind me. 

The first thing I saw was red, not the red hair red blood on the white sheets and Sam hovering over her pushing on two places on her abdomon. I forgot how to breathe. "Wheres the team?" Sam called. "Bruce is out." Breathe. Breathe Breathe. 

"Move." I cleared the way and we got her into the medical room. I packed on wound and then the other so I could focus on the first gunshot. "Amelia you can't do this," Peppa told me. I looked down at her blood covering my hands. "I don't have a choice. No one is here." It has been mission mad right now everyone was out. Peppa was only here because I needed a file from the office so she came to deliever it and then we got the call about Nat and- theres just her blood everywhere. "Yelena come here, and try and talk to her, get her to wake up," I instruct she goes to the top end of the bed and cups her sisters pale face. 

I ran through the procedure in my head going along with it step by step. "Pressures coming up," Bucky says. I stop the bleeding for the three bullet holes and watch the monitors, her pressure was up and down and then down and down and down. "I need a crash cart in here on standby." I wiped my face and got her blood on it, I took the gloves off quickly and replaced them. "A crash cart?" "Yelena wait outside." 

Her heart stops. I wait and count 10 seconds the recommend time to wait before starting compressions, Yelena was shouting but I had to focus, emtions couldn't cloud my head right now. I couldn't think about the fact that we never got together because I was too scared. I couldn't think about not being able to hold her or kiss her again. I couldn't think about not having a first date with her or our future. I couldn't think about her laugh or smile, or her beautiful green eyes or her ability to make me feel safe. I had to think like a doctor. Like Bruce. Remove myself from my emotions. disconnect. 

"I'm here." Bruce took over and my dads arms wrapped around me carrying me out as they shocked her chest. "Amelia?" Peppa cupped my face making me look away. Yelena was fighting to get back in the room but I was holding my breath waiting, waiting to hear the beep of the heart monitor. Waiting for her to say some sarcastic comment. Waiting for something. Anything. 

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I threw my head back and thanked God above. I moved from my family to Yelena and held her face in my hands as she attacked me. "Look at me," I demanded. "She's alive, Bruce is here, it's okay." "She's alive." I nodded I take her hand and lead her towards the door as Bruce works on her with some help. 

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"She asking for you," Yelena says, I look towards Peppa she nodded encouraging me. I let go of my dads hand and went to the medical wing. 

"Hi." She said with a scratchy throat, tears sprung to my eyes immediately. She tried to move so I went over to her after closing the door. I hold her the best I could without causing her any discomfort. "You scared me," I say. "I'm sorry. I thought I had it." "Running into open fire isn't having it Nat. It's asking to be killed." I pulled away and sat beside her. "I'm sorry." 

"What were you thinking?" I asked her I wanted to be sympathic and caring but she could have died and she willngly ran into open fire. "I was protecting Wanda." "The literal witch? She can protect herself." "Mila." "I could have lost you. Do you know how scary that is? I had your blood, covering my hands on my face and no one was here to help. You nearly died. And I had to deal with it. You nearly. I..." I took a deep breath to calm myself. "I could have lost you." She holds my hand her grip was weak as she hadn't gotten her strength up yet. "Mila." She whispered. "Please don't leave me." I sobbed laying my head on her chest her hands ran through my hair. "I'm here, I'm here baby and I'm not going anywhere."