Pain Is Power

59: Muma

I was eating some porridge after feeding our baby. Peppa had left for some reason after she got a phone call and Nick was still sleeping in the chair beside the crib. It was sweet of him. Since getting this position we have been super close, we argue and disagree a lot but he always sees things my way, I let him pretend it was his idea and he trusts me. I trust him too. 

I looked over at my sleeping baby she looked so peaceful the world hasn't got to her yet she was this completely innocent being so perfect and pure and she was all ours and Nat and I, we'd give her so much love. I shivered again. Anytime I thought about Nat I would shiver, I wanted to believe it was because she wasn't here with me and I was just worried but something inside of me told me it was more than that... Maybe she was hurt. 

There was a knock on the door and I looked over and smiled, Yelena walked in. "I hear I have a niece." "You do." I smiled widely at how excited she was. "Peppa said I could come up first." I nodded and invited her further into the room. "May I?" I nodded she picked her up so softly not disturbing her sleep at all. "Has he been here all night?" "Yeah, him and Peppa," I say with a smile I moved my legs so she can sit. "She's perfect." She was admiring her. "Isn't she just." I beamed. "Wait until you see her eyes." "Green?" I nodded. She smiled. "Is Natasha back?" "No, not yet." I sighed. "Do you have a name?" "We picked a few we liked but never settled on it." "Can I hear them? I could help." "I want to wait for Nat, she should be the one to decide." Yelena Pouted. "What do I call her for now?" "What we've been calling her this entire time." "Bean?" I nodded. Nat and I started calling her little bean when we found out we had conceived her as we didn't know if she was a she or he. Everyone began calling it her and it's like her nickname at this point. "Hey, little Bean, do you remember me? I'm Aunty Yelena the one who's going to sneak you ice cream." I chuckled. "I love you." She whispered to her. 

"She's an angel." I nodded. "She's perfect," I say smiling. "Her let me take a picture." I take her phone from her. I have no clue where mine is, Peppa took it from me when I tried to get out of bed after having her. I didn't mind too much I had all my focus on her. I took the photo and Yelena thanked me. 

There was another knock on the door and everyone piled in. I smiled maybe Nat is back. Balloons and teddies were pushed through the door and Nick woke up. "Shh." Yelena scolded them as the baby began to stir. "How are you feeling Kid?" Clint asked hugging me. "Tired, waiting for my wife... Where is she?" She wouldn't make eye contact with me. "Clint?" "Do you have a name yet?" Thor asked looking over Yelena's shoulder. "No, she's waiting for Natasha." It's like everyone collectively held their breath. Yelena and I looked around confused. Bruce walked in. 

"Where is she?" "Mimi." He began but he didn't have time to finish I was out of my bed and checking every medical room on this wing. "Amelia." "Where is she Peppa?" I asked seriously and firmly. "She didn't make it." My whole world shattered and crumbled on top of me. I couldn't breathe my heart ached my tummy was twisting and flipping around. My head was spinning. "No. She... Promised." I say. "I'm so sorry." "No!" I crumbled to the floor.

PEPPA'S POV

Seeing her flinch away from everyone's touch who tried to comfort her was horrible. She couldn't get her breath between her sobs and she just kept mumbling she promised and that was it. Her cries sounded like she was in pain, it physically was hurting her knowing her wife wasn't here, or ever going to be here again. She was so broken.  Until she heard her child cry and it was like she flipped a switch. She did it with Morgan all the time. She took a deep breath forcing herself to her feet, wiping her face dry and walking back to her room. 

"Muma's here." She said whilst taking her from Yelena. Who looked confused. "Did you find her?" "Can everyone give us a minute?" She asked and we all cleared the room. Everyone had looks of woes on their faces, Fury teared up before walking away, Natasha was like a daughter to him. "Has she asked about her father yet?" Kate asked and I shake my head. "Right now her focus is on her child and that child is now down a parent. That's all that she'll be thinking about." From outside the door, I could hear Yelena breaking down as Mimi clearly told her. "Yelena." She called as the door swung open. Amelia passed me the baby before pulling Yelena off of Bruce who she was attacking. "Yelena stop." She says as she pulled her off of him.