Pain Is Power

49: Memories

It has now been three weeks. Three whole weeks without hearing her voice or seeing her beautiful doe eyes. Three weeks without kissing her and holding her. Three weeks without her smile and laughter to light up my day. Three whole weeks of emptiness.

Tony and Bruce are now doing daily tests to make sure her brain function is still high. It means she's actively fighting she's thinking she's processing she's still in there. When she goes for her tests I go sit with Lena she's not in good shape she misses her friend and she's scared of permanently losing a consistent person in her life. I'd just lay with her comfort her talk her feelings through. Pretend I'm holding everything together though really my heart ached and I felt numb most of the time. I've failed my evaluation to go back to work so that worked in my favour for once I didn't want to go back I wanted to be by her bed holding her hand telling her it's okay. Telling her about Morgan and how she's doing. Morgan wasn't allowed down there to see her because of how scary it looks but I get a full detailed report over FaceTime about her days. She made Mila a picture that I taped to the wall by Mila's bed it was of Morgan, Mila and Peter at the Zoo. They went there a lot together the first year of Mila being home.

I was holding her hand whilst reading out loud to her, she liked to have her brain constantly stimulated normally so I was doing everything I could to keep that happening. I was reading her Alice and the wonderland it's the book she was reading for the accident.

I felt her squeeze my hands I freeze in shock looking from the book to her but she lay perfectly still and her eyes were still closed, I wanted her to wake up so bad my mind was playing tricks on me. I go back to reading to her, I found myself doing the silly little voices she did when she was reading to me. She said it was a force of habit from reading to Morgan, it was cute when she did it, I just felt insane right now.

I felt her squeeze my hand again but she wasn't moving, she was perfectly still. I closed the book put it down and watched her. "Amelia?" I questioned. "Please tell me I'm not going insane," I whispered to her. "Please wake up, baby." She definitely squeezed my hand, I squeezed it back. "I'm here. I'm right here baby." I tell her trying to coax her into opening her eyes. "Everyones waiting to see you," I say softly, with my other hand I reach for the phone and call the lounge.

"Is everything okay?" Peter asked urgently. "I think you guys should come down here." "Is it bad?" "She squeezed my hand." "MR STARK." I head before the line goes dead I put the phone back and focused on Amelia. Her family came in excluding Morgan and the doctor too. "What happened?" "When I talk she squeezes my hand... She's not done that before." I tell them. I dare them to tell me it's her reflexes I know it's not she's not done this in three weeks it's like her body was cast in stone but she squeezed my hand moments ago.

They saw it for themselves, when Tony spoke she squeezed hard. "Princess." Her dad said when he saw it. "We're here baby... You're nearly there." He encouraged her. Hours ticked by and she hadn't moved again. I sat anxiously by her bed whilst we took it in turns to talk to her, Bruce said it would be good for her to have some quiet so that's what we were doing right now, her music was playing in the background not too loud and we were waiting for anything to happen.

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"Nat... Nat, wake up." I blinked the sleep away and looked around the dimly lit room. "What happened?" "You fell asleep," Peppa says pushing my hair off of my face. "I did?" "Yeah, Peter did too." She says with a soft smile. "Is she okay?" I looked towards her bed Tony was sitting holding her hand, I removed the blanket off of me they must have laid it over me when I fell asleep. "She's waking up." "She is?" I jumped up and went to her bedside.

Her eyes were opening slightly and closing again she kept doing this her face frowning slightly. She was here, she was okay, she was waking up. She was here she was okay she was waking up. "Dad?" I melted at the sound of her voice, it was dry and horsed but it was like music to my ears. "Hey, Princess." Her eyes were still closing but she'd keep trying to push them open, she was fighting the sleep.