May Blossom High

Kendalls Pov (2)

| At home |

I fling my school bag on my untidy bed roughly pulling off the blue hoodie that I'd worn with so much expectations for my first day at school.

The heaviness in my chest didn't go away as I thought it would, rather with each passing time it felt heavier.

I had cried helplessly in the girls' bathroom but decided to go home before school dismissal. It feels like my bowel movements isn't right but I know what the problem is...

"My heart... "

Once I successfully pull off my clothes and cuddle under the duvet miserably, my life as a high schooler flashes through my memory in sheer mockery. I never got to have the one thing I wanted, the one thing that has kept me going throughout these years of growing up to realize I had a non-committed father and a struggling mother with three children left all to her by her so-called husband who was a soldier and got deployed to some foreign country on special duty.

The verbal bullying had seasons, seasons when it was at its peak and this time it was going to be massive all because of Jessica and her jinx. Once people find out Landon is hooked again and that I'm not his choice, again. Just his miserable bestie who always stuck out like a sore thumb.
They'd start the teasing and hateful words all over again.

I've had these strong feelings for him since junior high, I call it a crush, nothing more. maybe because I didn't want to exaggerate the feelings knowing he felt close to nothing for me. Sometimes I thought Landon stuck with me to look good and compassionate in people's eyes but no, he was the sweetest, most caring guy anyone would wish for.

I missed him, we haven't seen each other since the long vacation and because of my sickness now.

My android vibrates beside me, it's a message from Landon wanting to know how I'm doing and that he was finally returning to school tomorrow after a day out with his authoritarian father.

I smile for the first time since I returned, knowing Landon was too nice for someone like Jessica and I don't care if I sound like a bitch, it's how I feel. I rapidly send him a happy emoji and decide to turn off my phone or else he'd call, I don't wanna hear his voice, it's another misery for me.

Landon Brookes is from a wealthy family, his grandparents first started the Brookes petroleum company with some French investors back in the day. The business grew to be handed down to his father, Maxwell, and soon him, but he has no interest. His only sibling and sister Lilian is married and lives abroad with her husband while running her modeling firm.

Landon loves to run, ever since we were little. He had good speed and always did come first in our school inter-class competitions earning him several medals. This time around he took his passion to a higher level, he took part in external tournaments on state and national levels, earning him the school's heartthrob.

Not overlooking the fact that he's academically sound, just an all-rounder.

While I lay on my bed thinking of what my senior year in high school would look like, I didn't want the bullying or the incessant insults thrown at me and behind Landon's back.

Hypocrites who wanted to be in his good books did well to smile at me or act cozy around us because of Landon, but I knew better.

I'm not one to sit and watch people walk all over me, not at home at least, but in school, I lose all composure. It's like I become a different person, finding it difficult to defend myself.

One thing was for sure, I didn't let their hurtful words spoil our friendship. I wouldn't let anything come between me and Landon, especially after his prior relationship with Shania in science class.

She was one of his exes. I loathed her so much because of how manipulative and disdaining she was. It was one of the most haunting days of my life because Shania and her squadron made it plain to me never to be seen hanging around her boyfriend whom I tried to avoid at the time but he always came looking for me. We couldn't avoid each other. We were besties, a zone I rued ever getting into.

Shania made life difficult for me, I wasn't physically accosted but the hurtful words and rumors were more painful than anything, to the point I gave up on my friendship with Landon.
We didn't speak to each other for months until after his breakup with her. It didn't mean much because he quickly got into another, though with a nicer quieter girl

Meredith was a class below us.

Their love or rather relationship blossomed into something beautiful, we all began to see the possibilities of them ending up together because Meredith was just such a nice shy girl and the prettiest in her class. Their relationship lasted as long as it could and I wasn't at the tip of people's tongues nor did Meredith spread hateful words about me. She was distant but nice.

It was going to work out for both until Meredith had to move out of the country entirely. Her parents were getting a divorce, and her mum insisted on leaving for Morocco, her birthplace.

I could swear she was the closest to love Landon had ever felt in his entire life because he cried when she left. No goodbyes, no words, they both separated on a cold slate.

It took him six months to get back to his regular hot boy life and of all people to date, he chose my friend Jessica.

I feel a bile surge in my throat and I get off the bed to our shared bathroom in my singlet and panty, realizing I'm shedding tears.
My confidence level is at zero now, if anyone should tell me that I'm worthless I'd agree without a second thought.

Deep down in my heart, I don't blame Jessica, I blame myself for nurturing a silly crush on him and Landon for always being so nice to me, sending me mixed signals that I unconsciously misread and feed my hungry emotions for him.

I wash my face and drink from the sink to clear my dry throat. I smile in farce at my oblong face which people always referred to as the ideal face.

I have a very dark eye and a little nose perched below, accentuating my high cheekbones and tight lips, nothing exquisite about my looks. I glance down at my non-existent breasts, they make me look manly and I hated it. It's one of the reasons I wear thick clothes, people would judge me for everything, they'd say Landon loved girls with endowments and I was off the list.
Those were Shania's words precisely. I sigh at the somewhat broken mirror on the wall, thanks to my stubborn kid brother Jordan for his handwork.
As I saunter back to my room, only one thought loomed in my mind...

"My diary, my solace."

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Fades away✨✨✨❤️

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