𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗢 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗙𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗦 (𝟭-𝟲). ❥ cix.

4.1 ;; leave me alone

I spent the majority of my time before heading into Byounggon's tent trying to not cry, but I was failing with every passing minute. Once I worked up the ability to get out of bed, I noticed that Yonghee and Hyunsuk were already gone. It was to be expected; I already spent an hour crying.

I didn't bother with my previous precautions, the sadness I had from earlier already starting to wear off. By the time I was stumbling out of the cabin and over to a specific tent, something new bubbled inside of me.

"I'm sorry I was late." My voice was hoarse. "I... didn't know how to tell you this."

As I grabbed a blanket I saw lying around, I looked everyone over. Did I really trust them enough with this. Yet again, all I could see felt red. Anger. Sadness. Humiliation. How could something like this have happened to me? Why did something like this had to happen to me? Why couldn't it be anyone else? Anyone else in the camp, someone who knew what to do in this situation. Someone who didn't have their burner phone in a tight grasp. Someone who didn't spend the entire day crying.

Someone who knew where to start. "I... Seojun, he..."

I started my speech, thrown together hastily, but Seunghun interrupted me a solid two seconds in. He cradled me in his arms, murmuring something softly, but all I could do was try (and fail) to not cry.

I buried my face into Seunghun's shirt, unreasonably comfortable in the arms of someone I had only known for a few minutes. Even then, he was soothing, just as Jaeseok was during my parent's trial.

Once I was able to open my eyes without crying, I pulled away from Seunghun's damp shirt. Everyoen else was gone. "What are you... why did you kick them out?"

Seunghun sighed, unveiling something to me. "Because Seojun did it to me too. Last year and this year. A few times."

So that was what all of those looks were for. And Seojun's words were making more sense too. Seojun would never stop at one, of course he wouldn't, not even with Seunghun's few.

"A few?"

"Well, six-ish."

Six. Six. "Six?" Seunghun had gone through so much more before me, and it wasn't even worth it for me to be crying. I wiped away my tears. "And here I am crying over one."

"No, let yourself cry. I cried after the first time, too. It's like, well, this has happened, and all you're praying for is for it to never happen again. And you either end up lucky or like me."

I could tell that Seunghun was trying to make me feel better about letting my emotions swallow me for once in my life, but I didn't know what to say to him.

He pulled me in a little closer. "Please don't tell me he pulled out his knife on you."

"He did," I responded. "He didn't use it on me, though. I shouldn't be so scared of my own blood." That, I wasn't going to elaborate on. "Did he use it on you ever?"

Seunghun nodded, which shattered my heart. "I'm just happy that you're okay." He said to me.

"I shouldn't be crying, should I? You–"

I was interrupted by Seunghun covering my mouth. "Jinyoung, and I say this for your own sake, shut up. It's not a competition of who had it worse. The thing is that I was assaulted and essentially attacked, and you were assaulted and threatened. He's still a horrible person at the end of the day."

Seunghun was right. Here I was, trying to reason against my own case, when I had just been assaulted and I wasn't even thinking about what he had done. Seojun was a horrible person, as Seunghun said, and he would be paying for his behaviour.