normal things - XLVII

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TW: mention of d..th, animal h.rm, ab.se, trauma

--Bastet--

"BASTET," Avery yells as I come in through the back door. "WHAT THE HELL?"

"Leave them alone, Avery," Mars says quickly from their bed. Avery glares at them quickly. Mars puts down their book before glaring back.

"I just went for a walk," I respond, holding up my hands. Avery squints at me.

"Through the back door?" Elowin asks, furrowing her eyebrows at me. I nod.

"Suspicious," Ota says from the bathroom. I can see her and Aquarii in the mirror.

"Literally just a walk," I say. Avery jumps off her bed and comes towards me.

"Lady Sorrel is preparing to talk to you tomorrow when you have your lesson with her," Avery tells me, serious.

"Am I in trouble?" I ask.

"Eh," I hear Elowin say. "She's not one to kick students out. But you did kill a Felidae, which warrants her concern."

"Did you tell her about Aquarii?" I squeak. Aquarii pokes her head out of the bathroom before she shakes it. My eyes feel hot.

"What even happened?" Mars asks, putting down their book again. I hesitate in answering.

"I don't know," I respond.

"Lady Sorrel is not gonna take that shit," Avery says. "Someone had to report the Felidae body." I sigh.

"I know."

"So why then Bas?" Avery asks.

I take a moment before I answer. Should I just lie?

"I—" I can't tell her. I just can't. I know how fucked up it sounds to want to be in a fight. And I killed the Felidae. It's so fucked and that means I'm fucked.

"Bas," Avery responds, her brows furrowed. "You killed it. There has to be a reason."

I stare back at Avery, stoic. I swallow. It's not like I'm going to tell Avery and everyone here about my fucked head or Aken or anything. I can't. Not after that entire show. And I can't tell them about his friends or Mom or anything.

"I'm sorry."

"You are powerful Bastet, use it to help and not harm," Avery says. I stare at her before I push her hand off my shoulder.

"How? It's not like I could stop! It's not like anyone ever taught me how to talk to people! Or..or want normal things! For fucks sake I ran—" I blink the tears out of my eyes as I catch myself. I look at everyone staring at me. Is it pity?

"What do you mean?" Mars asks carefully. I sigh and cover my face. I want to disappear.

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