Storms of the Sky

headsick - LXXIV

TW: SH, diss.c..tion, s.icidal thoughts, intrusive thoughts, implied s.xual assa.lt, ab.se

--Briar--

What?

What?

What did they say?

Come with me.

With their friends? Me? Me, who tried to kill them? Why? Why? What?

I stumble into a tree, fingers pressing into the bark. Scabbed and bleeding. More and more. Pressure. Pinching.

What?

I grab my face. Fingers digging into my eyes. Eye sockets. Holes.

Mud mud mud.

Head sick. This is head sick, isn't it?

You deserve all the pain you will ever feel.

No no. Not now. Go away, Odessa.

My breath hurts. It's icy.

What's going on?

I stare down at my hands. They're shaky. Shaky?

What?

Icy breath. Shaky hands. Bleeding fingertips. Mud. Head sick.

I laugh, blood staining my shirt from my fingers. I grip my stomach. Ow.

"Good job! You managed to block out everything again! Did you like it? Did you have fun? Go back to normal now. Go." I exhale.

I grab the tree I'm leaning on. Fingers digging in. I slam my head into the trunk.

Let my head split.

My body meets the earth fast. I gasp. My lungs have no air. I grab at my clothes. Why can't I breathe?

Let me breathe. Let me breathe.

Digging, digging. Ow.

I ripped my clothes?

My head pushes into the ground. I stare forward. Behind me. I don't know.

"Are you finished?"

I scramble up. Hands out. Icy air towards the voice.

"Hadron?" I call out. Is that my voice? It sounds different. Hoarse. Deep.

My hand slips to my boot. My palm cradles my knife. I unsheathe it. He's somewhere around here. I heard him.

He knows I messed up. He knows I haven't killed Bastet. He's coming to kill me. He's coming to cut my ear off this time. He's here to cut my arms. He's here to make my legs bleed. He's here to make my body bleed in places it hasn't before.

I blink. Tears.

I won't let him kill me. I'll kill me first. I'll beat him to it.

The blade finds my skin. Above my wrist pressing but not enough to slice.

I watch.

Hadron won't kill me if I do what he wants. He won't hurt me then. Then I don't have to die.

Yeah. Yeah. I just have to kill Bastet. I just.

I lean over. Vomit stings my throat. I gag, stepping back.

My eyes feel wide.

I have to go.