Multi Fandom One Shots And Short Stories

(ENVY X READER, FMA:B) Memories Are Hardest To Shake

A/N
Right, so I used my own preference for pronouns in this. I just use she/they, rather than he/they. But yeah. Enjoy this angst!

March 2022 update: lol I'm non-binary, I use they/them pronouns... I was in denial.

And now, a TW- This one's about nightmares and trauma. PTSD mentions, burn scars, bullying, attempted murder based on gender identity, gangs, and branding.

Word count: 1285

Nights are the worst. For both of you. For completely separate reasons, but still. Nights suck.

Both you and your S/O, Envy, have... Uhhhh, what you could call 'spicy' pasts. You've both seen some serious shist.

But tonight? It was Envy's that came back to haunt their sleep.

You were curled up with him in your arms, like most nights. They always liked being held, especially after long days at school or something. That's something you understood, as you were the same way.

But tonight, you were awakened when he started twitching. Both of you had become light sleepers and were always awake to help the other through the Hell that was your nightmares.

You opened your eyes to a dark room, lit only by the digital clock on the nightstand. Envy had their arms wrapped around their waist, with his legs tucked up to their chest. He was shaking, and his fingers were twitching violently.

Out of the two of you, you knew that Envy probably had it worse. You had been through one hell of an abusive foster home, but you'd gotten out quickly. Envy had been stuck in theirs for at least a year and a half. While in that hell hole, he'd fallen in with... Well, the wrong crowd, you could say.

When they were 15, about 6 months after being moved to their last home, he'd joined a notorious gang. When the other kids in that gang discovered that Envy didn't particularly identify as either gender, they'd turned on him.

The gang leader, who Envy still couldn't stomach the name of, had organized an ambush on them. He'd been knocked unconscious and taken to an abandoned farmhouse outside of town. There, three of the most brutal of the gang members (who were now all serving jail time for a number of serious crimes, including but not limited to: aggravated assault and attempted murder) had branded an ouraborus symbol onto his leg.

When he'd passed out, they had dumped barrels of gasoline around the base of the farmhouse and set it alight. If it hadn't been for a hiker who saw the boys getting ready to set the house aflame and called for help, Envy would have been burned alive in the death trap that had been laid for them.

You both had nightmares, but yours never got as violent as Envy's. For good reason, too.

There were differences between your flashbacks. His were violent, while yours were bad, but manageable. You never talked, only cried, while they screamed and pleaded for help. It took you a while to calm yourself down after a nightmare, but you could do it on your own. Envy would descend into a full-blown panic attack if he wasn't helped out of it.

And you knew that this was where they were headed. It killed you, but as the nightmare wore on, it got more violent and all you could do was hold him.

The doctor who prescribed both of your anxiety meds gave you a few pointers for this. You hated it, but there's wasn't much you could do. In the hospital, when Envy was still recovering from the attack, a nurse had tried to wake them up from a nightmare. He'd attacked her, thinking she was trying to kill them.

You had been instructed that after the climax of any of Envy's nightmares, it would be safe to wake him up when they started to twitch. To begin with, they would twitch, then descend rapidly into the brunt of the flashback. That was the time that posed the most danger to whoever tried to wake him up. After that had passed, he would be caught up in twitching again. That was when you could safely wake them up.

It killed you every time, but you just held him closer as the twitching began to escalate into shaking. You shut your eyes tightly as Envy began whimpering. You ran your hand through his hair, simply trying not to listen as they were hit with the full flashback.

"Stop, stop! Please," he wheezed, "Ow! Please stop, please!" He flinched violently, gasping, "Please! I don't want to die!"

You clenched your jaw as tears started pouring down his face. You hated this. HATED it. You prayed that he wouldn't start-

Your prayer went unanswered as Envy gasped again and let out a quiet scream.

'Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry-' you repeated to yourself, 'you've seen this before, don't cry.'

Your silent mantra did nothing for you. Tears started springing to your own eyes as their hand flew to the top of his leg, where the Ouraborus brand still stood, stark and red against his pale skin.

They screamed again, back arching as he threw his head back, grasped in the throes of agony. Their arms flailed and you quickly scooted away. You HATED letting go of him, but you also didn't want to get smacked in the face. You knew he would never forgive himself if they accidentally hurt you.

He gasped and pleaded with unseen attackers for about 5 more minutes, then finally seemed to calm down enough that you could pull them into your arms again.

He was just twitching again, and you deemed it safe to wake him. You were correct; instead of attacking you when his eyes first opened, he wrapped his arms around your waist and just cried. You would never hold it over his head, ever. He'd seen you cry enough that it was about equal now. And in both of your cases, it was completely justified.

You pulled him into your lap, running your hands through his hair and rocking both of you from side to side. You rested your head on top of his and just let him cry.

Eventually, he calmed down to just sniffles.

"Hey, baby," you said, "how ya feelin?"

"Like hell," he sniffed.

You huffed a laugh, "That's understandable."

He nodded, exhausted. They curled their head into his chest, shoulders hunching, and seemingly began to cough his lung up. You just kept rocking him, rubbing your fingers over his bare shoulder as he struggled to breath again. Smoke inhalation is a hell on earth for someone's lungs, in case you wanted to know.

"Sorry," he wheezed.

You shook your head, "Don't apologize, dummy. It's not your fault."

Rather than answer, he just rested his head on your collarbone. You could feel his lungs still struggling to inhale. You wished you could do more, but you couldn't, for now.

"Do you want your inhaler?" You asked them.

Envy shook his head. "I'll be alright," he whispered.

"Do you think you can go back to sleep?"

He nodded. They'd thoroughly exhausted himself at this point, so the chance of another dream was slim.

"Alright. To sleep it is, then!" You whispered. You pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead before letting them get comfortable again.

Envy passed out almost immediately, with his arms around your middle and his head safely tucked under your chin. You hated nights like these, but they would never, EVER, shake how much you loved the damaged boy in your arms right then.

Their past doesn't define them, even though it haunts him. After all, memories are the hardest to shake.