Multi Fandom One Shots And Short Stories

(SPIRIT ANIMALS) Toxic Thoughts

I only meant this to be a cute lil angsty fic with hugs and shist. I did NOT expect it to become the monster vent fic it has morphed into.

TW- This contains discussions of suicide, self harm, and major self worth issues. Please don't read if this will upset you. I care about you guys. Watch out for yourselves.

Word count: 2308

The small click of the door is what woke her. Abeke had been fast asleep, dreaming about frolicking in a small, lush meadow with Conor, Meilin, and Rollan, with all their spirit animals, carefree and joyful. It was something that she hadn't seen in any of them for quite a while.

Abeke had become accustomed to sleeping lightly. Going through two wars does that to a person. As soon as she heard the click of the door handle, she was awake. She kept her body relaxed, even as her heart sped up and she itched to reach for a weapon or to unleash Uraza.

She could hear labored breathing. It was heavy, almost sounding like someone had run to get there.

Slowly, Abeke cracked her eyes open and peered into the dark room through her eyelashes. The light of the moon and the stars just outside the window was enough to illuminate the far wall and the figure leaning there.

It was very dark, but there was enough light to make out the tall, broad shouldered silhouette of Conor. He was leaned against the wall like it was the only thing keeping him standing. His whole body was shaking violently, tremors taking over his entire being. One arm was raised and cradled his head, rubbing at the scar the Wyrm had left, while the other arm, the one with the vivid burn scar, was tucked up against his ribs.

It wasn't necessarily uncommon for the Heroes of Erdas to spend nights with each other, having been awakened by nightmares and flashbacks of the wars. There were some that were more violent than others, and those took a while to calm down from.

The friends were always there for each other, no matter the time of night. But still, there were times when they didn't want to wake each other up, not wanting to be a burden or anything, even though they clearly needed help with something and none of the friends would ever see each other as a burden.

This seemed to be one of those times. Conor was shaking violently and his breathing was labored, but he didn't make any move to purposefully rouse Abeke from her supposed sleep. He did this sometimes, just needing to be in the presence of one of his friends to steady himself, rather than waking them up.

/Stubborn boy/ she thought to herself.

After watching him for a few more moments to see if he would try to wake her up, Abeke gave in and made the first move. She cleared her throat, removing the last traces of sleep, and whispered, "You know that there's room next to me, right?"

Conor's head shot up so fast, she was surprised it didn't hit the wall behind him. He still cradled his head and burned arm, but now he was looking at her with wide, startled eyes.

"Abeke?" He said hoarsely, "I- I woke you, didn't I?" He groaned, "I'm so sorry-"

"Hush, Conor. You don't have to apologize. Get over here, there's plenty of room!" She pulled back the blankets and pressed her back up against the wall, leaving plenty of room for him.

Conor seemed to hesitate for a moment before making up his mind. He pushed off the wall and stumbled toward the bed, keeping his arms close to his chest. He reached the proffered spot and slipped in next to her. Almost immediately after settling, he had pulled his knees to his chest and curled into a tiny ball.

Abeke's heart hurt. She knew what these nightmares did to him. All the heroes got them, but only their worst got as bad as Conor's normal. It was awful to see the toll it took on him. He'd always meant so much to her!