(DSMP- EMERLAD DUO) Maybe in Distance, But Never in Heart

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This hurt me so much... But I think it helped?  It made me cry 6 or 7 times, but it turned out pretty good.

TW: death, cancer, ghosts, sort of panic attacks, flashbacks.

I'm sorry, guys.  But at the same time I'm really not. This was cathartic and therapeutic to write and I am so proud of it. 

Word count: 2222 (yes I did that on purpose)

Philza couldn't remember a time he had been this distraught.  He'd lived a very long life; he'd seen empires rise and fall, legends of forgotten cultures fading into obscurity, watching as those around him withered with the steady passage of time.  Through it all, he'd remained constant. 

He didn't know why he was different. He just was!  Somewhere around the turn of his first century, he'd garnered the attentions of Lady Death herself.  She was beautiful and, for him at least, it was love at first sight. Their wedding day was one of the happiest days of his entire life; it was nice to not be alone anymore. 

Kristin was incredible. She was funny, she listened to him, she gave him a place where he felt he was truly safe.  That was a rare feeling for an immortal being, constantly moving to avoid the questions of aging humans. Phil couldn't fathom how he'd gotten so lucky as to be called her Angel of Death.

When he was a little more than four centuries old, his wife had led him to someone else: a young piglin hybrid. Phil had watched him from a distance, intrigued by the strange phenomena he was witnessing.  He was a fighter who never seemed to die, no matter how gravely wounded he appeared.  His name was Technoblade. 

Fighting rings from all over traded and bartered, connived and killed for a chance to see the Blood God in action.  He won every fight he was entered into, almost effortlessly.

Phil could never have predicted how close they would become. Over the years, it became clear that Techno was like him!  He just never seemed to die. That's what had drawn Kristen's attention and why she'd sent her husband to see why this stranger was different.

They had grown close after Phil had broken Techno out of the rings.  Centuries had passed and the two had become partners in crime: the Angel of Death and the Blood God, inseparable from the moment they'd met.

Which is why Phil never expected to lose his best friend to something as simple as a sickness.  He'd always seemed like an impenetrable fortress; strong, silent, impossible to break. That was Techno.  Nothing could shake him, nothing could best the Blade.

Until something had. 

The sickness had ravaged his body, leaving him bedridden and unable to even lift his head.  He'd been so thin, so light- Phil had had to carry him to the grave he'd so carefully dug. Technoblade had never seemed so small as he had then. 

Phil couldn't seem to stop crying.  He couldn't ever remember feeling so alone, not even before he'd met Kristin, when he was the only thing time had no hold on. 

He'd returned to their house, the same house he and Techno had built so many years ago.  Memories of his best friend were waiting around every corner, preparing to spring at him and rip his very soul from his body. He didn't think he'd fight if they did.

Techno washing blood from his red cloak after a fight.

Sparring matches in the back garden.

Techno splashing soapy water on Phil's wings while cleaning up after dinner.

Curling up together at night, just needing to feel the other's presence to remind them that they weren't alone anymore.

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