Chapter 77

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I really had the best friends in the whole world! Jane and Jess made it their mission to make sure I had a good night. Never once did I feel like a fifth wheel with them. We didn't know anyone at the party but that didn't stop us from making fools of ourselves on the dance floor. The guys just stood on the side laughing at us but we didn't care. We were finally back together and determined to start the school year off with a bang. I even managed to forget about how much I missed Henry for a little while. Alcohol may have had a hand in that. They were serving some sort of tropical punch with rum in it and it was delicious. Everyone was enjoying themselves except Liam. He kept disappearing while talking on the phone. Not sure who had it worse...him or me.

After dancing and laughing our asses off for a few hours, we decided to head out to try to find some food. Rumor was that a new late night burrito place had opened up and the boys wanted to try it. Of course, Chris had disappeared so it was just the six of us. After walking for what felt like forever in my inebriated state, we arrived at a food truck with a long line. When we finally got our food, we sat down on a nearby table. Everyone was feeling good and it seemed as if Lily had stopped calling Liam so he was finally enjoying himself as well. I didn't want the high I was on to end. But what goes up must come down.

I felt Jane, who was sitting next to me, lean over to whisper in my ear.

"Hey Em, do you mind if I go stay over at Bill's tonight? We haven't seen each other in almost a month and we really missed each other. I don't have too if you don't want to be alone but I thought I would ask first."

Thank god I was not facing her because I'm sure the complete disappointment was written all over my face. In fact, Liam was sitting across from me and his look of concern told me that my true feelings were obvious in that moment. It was our first night in our new place and I guess I expected her to stay with me. But if Henry was here, I would have wanted to spend the night with him too so I couldn't blame her. And I wouldn't keep her from doing what she wanted. I plastered a fake smile on my face and told her it was fine. That I would be fine. I was becoming really good at pretending I was fine when my emotions were all over the place.

When we were done eating, I realized that I would be walking home alone. Everyone else lived in one direction while my apartment was in the other. After saying goodbye to my girls, I went to hug Liam goodbye but he stopped me.

"What are you doing Em? Do you really think I would let you walk home alone late at night while you are drunk? I know I'm an asshole but I'm not that big of an asshole." He put his arm around my shoulders and started walking towards my apartment. It was only a few blocks so it didn't take long. Neither one of us really said anything. Part of me wanted to ask about Lily but it was safer for both of us if I minded my business.

When we reached my place, I expected him to leave but he was following me as I swiped the key card to open the door. I guess he wanted to be sure I got in my apartment okay. While we waited for the elevator, I checked my phone and of course there were no new messages from Henry.

"Want to hang out for a little bit? Like old times?" Liam's voice snapped my attention away from my phone. I may be a little buzzed but I still knew that was a bad idea.

"How would Lily feel about that?" Maybe I was a little more than buzzed if I was being so blunt.

He chuckled and shook his head back and forth. "Right now I don't care. She's being crazy tonight. I just want to spend some time with you just the two of us. Like we used to freshman year. Remember we used to stay up all night binge watching Stranger Things? Those were some of my favorite nights."

He was looking at me like he used to. Like there was no weirdness between us. I missed hanging out with him too. He was a huge part of my first year of college. Maybe things could be like that again now that we were both in relationships. The elevator door opened and we both stepped in.

When we got in my apartment, I beelined it to the bathroom and then to my bedroom to change into my pjs. When I returned to the living room, Liam was stretched out on the couch and was scrolling through Netflix on my tv. There were two water bottles on the coffee table. I grabbed one and pushed Liam's feet off the couch so I could sit down. He started the first episode of Stranger Things and the familiar music took me back to a simpler time.

Next thing I knew, I was being blinded by the morning sun and there was a heavy weight on my legs. In my half-asleep brain, I thought it was Henry and a wave of happiness came over me. But then I remembered. I opened my eyes to see it was one of Liam's legs. I was asleep at one end of my couch and he was asleep at the other. Our legs were tangled together. We must have fallen asleep watching tv. This was not good. I don't think our significant others would be happy to find out we had a sleepover even if it was completely innocent.

I untangled myself and stood up. My head was pounding from my hangover and my stomach roiled. I had to tell Henry about this but I was worried about his reaction. Things between us were hard enough. I tiptoed to my room and quietly shut the door before collapsing on my bed. I was so stupid! I let Liam walk me home and come up to my apartment because I didn't want to be alone. It was pathetic.

I felt myself starting to fall back to sleep when my phone started buzzing. It was Henry and he was FaceTiming me. I hadn't heard his voice in a few days so I didn't hesitate to answer.

"Morning sunshine. You look like you had a fun night. I'm sorry I missed it."

I laughed because I looked rough. He on the other hand, looked perfect. He was sitting on a couch I didn't recognize fully dressed, hair overgrown hanging in his face and a few days worth of facial hair on his face. The sight of him took my breath away. I don't think I would ever stop being so crazy attracted to him.

"I did have a really fun night. But it would have been better if you were here. Jess was her usual crazy self. Chris was of course hitting on anything with boobs. I miss you so much Henry." I let out a long sigh. I was too tired to fake being fine this morning.

He ran his hand through his hair which meant he was uncomfortable. I didn't care.

"I know babe. I miss you too. So so much. I hate myself for not being there with you. We were suppose to start the school year together and I abandoned you. I'm so sorry Em."

Until he said it, it didn't occur to me that I felt abandoned. But that's exactly what I've been feeling. And I know it was wrong of me to feel that way but I couldn't help it.

"Henry, I know this is something you have to do. I support you 100%. But it's hard and everything is so uncertain. It's just not how I envisioned things going when we got back together and I guess I'm having a tough time adjusting."

I felt better saying it out loud. Keeping my feelings under wraps for these last few weeks had been exhausting. Henry looked down at his lap and I knew I had made him feel bad which was not my intention at all.

"None of this is fair to you. I know that. Just promise me you won't give up on us. Please. Can you do that?"

Before I could respond, there was a knock at my door.

"Hey Em, I'm running out for bagels and coffee. I'll be right back." Even though my door was shut, I could tell from the angry look on Henry's face that he knew exactly who was in my apartment.

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