Inevitable

Chapter 79

I hung up with Henry after that. There really wasn't anything else to say. My head was pounding and I knew Liam was in my kitchen with bagels and coffee. I was grateful he was here, even if it was upsetting for Henry. I didn't want to be alone and Liam was here for me. Henry was not. Liam was there for me last night. Henry was not. So he had no right to give me a hard time.

I opened my bedroom door and was hit with the smell of coffee. Even just the smell of caffeine was doing wonders for my hangover. Liam had gotten out plates and was sitting at my table waiting for me to join him for breakfast. I was so grateful that he stayed last night. I needed a friend right now and he was the only one there for me.

"I got you a cinnamon chip. That's still your favorite, right?" Liam asked as he pulled a bagel out of the bag and placed it on the plate across from him. I sat down and starting spreading cream cheese.

"Yup, I can't believe you remember that. It's been so long since we had a sleepover." I took a bite and it tasted like heaven. Liam started eating his food and we fell into a companionable silence.

"Hey Em, remember that time we fell asleep in my room and we overslept for our 8 am class and you woke up in such a panic that you ran into the mens bathroom and caught my roommate getting out of the shower. Without a towel!" I felt my cheeks heating up out of embarrassment. Almost 2 years later and I still felt mortified.

"I can't believe you had to remind me of that! I couldn't even look Mark in the eyes for the rest of the year. But since we are taking a stroll down memory lane, how about the time you passed out drunk on my floor and Jess put a fake snake next to you and when you woke up, you screamed so loud you woke up my RA. Then she wanted to ban you from our floor and your RA had to get involved." I was laughing so hard that I nearly chocked. I forgot about all the stupid pranks we used to play on each other.

"O man, your RA thought we were doing some weird sexual thing. Thank god Jane explained what happened. I was so mad at Jess. She knows I am deathly afraid of snakes." We were both still giggling when Jane came through the door.

"Hey guys....what did I miss? Did you sleepover Liam?" She gave me a confused look and I knew what she was thinking.

"We fell asleep watching tv after Liam walked me home. We were just reminiscing about freshman year." Liam stood up and took his plate over to the sink. Jane was still looking at me funny.

"Ok ladies, I should get back to the frat house. I have a very pissed off girlfriend to deal with today. Thanks for letting me crash Em. I'll talk to you later." He started walking towards the door and I got up to walk him out to the elevator. When we got out to the hallway, he pulled me in for a hug and the physical contact felt too good. I really missed my boyfriend. That's all it was.

I went back into my apartment and sat back down at the table. Jane grabbed a bagel and sat across from me. I could feel her eyes on me. Jane was the sweetest person you will ever meet but she also did not hesitate to call you out on your bullshit. I felt like this was one of those moments where I was about to get a lecture.

"Em, what are you doing?" That's all she said. I knew exactly what she was talking about and it actually made me feel more guilty than Henry did.

"I don't know Jane. I miss my boyfriend. And it's making me lonely." I hung my head in my hands because I felt a little bit ashamed of the way I was acting. Jane reached over and pulled my hands away from my face so I had to look at her.

"I know, Em. He's supposed to be here with you and you are allowed to be upset that he's not. But do you really think it's a good idea to be having sleepovers with Liam after he caused so much drama last year. Is it worth it?" She looked at me with sympathy and honestly I hated it. I hated that she was right and I hated that I was in a position where my best friend felt sorry for me.

"Henry called this morning and he heard Liam so he knows already. He was pretty angry. But then he told me that he has a meeting with a record label tomorrow so the conversation went in a different direction." Jane let go of my hands and leaned back in her chair. I could tell she was putting the pieces together and what Henry's meeting could potentially mean. And she gave me that sympathetic look again and I wanted to run into my room and lock the door. 

"So, if all goes well, his band will get a record contract and he will be gone indefinitely. Dropping out of school. Not coming back. Living his dream." I knew I sounded bitter. And if it was anyone but Jane, I would have kept the negativity to myself. But I was so tired of hiding my feelings and I just needed to get it off my chest.

"I'm so sorry Em. I know this separation is killing you. And I know you feel like you should be happy for Henry but it's ok to be sad for yourself." And just like that, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I needed to hear someone say that it's ok for me to be sad. Even though Henry said it, I needed to hear it from someone objective.

"I don't know what I would do without you Jane. You are the best friend a girl could hope for." I reached out and squeezed her hand to let her know how much she meant to me. I was so lucky to have her as my friend and roommate.

"I'm sorry I left you last night. That was selfish of me. I knew you were having a hard time and I should have been here for our first night in our new place."

I held up my hand to stop her from talking.

"No no no! You have nothing to be sorry for. I never want to keep you from Bill. I love you two together. I'm a big girl. I'm ok on my own." She looked at me like she didn't believe what I was saying. After how my night had ended up, I guess I didn't blame her. If Henry did get his record contract, I was going to be on my own a lot and I needed to get used to it. I made a decision right then and there. I wasn't going to let this ruin my year. How would things be if I had not gotten back together with Henry over the summer? I would have had to figure out a way to be happy on my own. So that's what I needed to do. Be happy on my own.