Inevitable

Chapter 52

PART 2

Mid-July

I had been home for two months and I was starting to feel like myself again. It was starting to feel like everything that happened with Henry wasn't real. My life at home was completely seperate from my life at school. I could push all the feelings and memories away. I even managed to stay away from social media for the most part. I was afraid to see what Henry was up to. I spent my time babysitting and seeing old friends. Maybe everything was going to be okay.
     One night in the middle of July, I got a phone call from Jess.

"Hey girl! I miss you so much. This summer's been sooooo boring."

"I miss you too Jess! What have you been up to?"

"Well, I spent some time at the beach but I'm home now just hanging out with friends. I need to see you. Why don't you come visit this weekend? I found out that Henry's band is playing in my town Friday night and it's an 18 and over show. Let's go!"

"I don't know Jess. I'm not sure I'm ready to see him again."

"I get it Em but it sounds like you two didn't really have any closure. Maybe seeing him will help with that. Come on! Think about how much fun it's gonna be! Plus, my parents will be away this weekend so we'll have the house to ourselves."

The thought of seeing him again made me nervous. We didn't end things on a good note. I had spent the last two months trying to forget about him because it was so painful. What if all those feelings came back? But I couldn't deny that I wanted to see him perform again.

"Okay Jess. I'll go with you."

I had a feeling I was going to regret it.

My plan was to take an hour long bus ride to Jess's town after I got done babysitting and she would pick me up at the bus stop. I was a nervous wreck all day. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to see Henry again after all this time.
Jess was waiting for me when I got off the bus. She ran up to me and pulled me in for a hug. I had missed her so much. I had friends at home but I didn't feel as close to them anymore.

"Em! I'm so happy to see you! You look so good. Henry's going to regret cheating on you."

"He didn't cheat on me. I've told you that a million times. I messed up too."

"Whatever. As far as I'm concerned, what he did was so much worse. It's his loss. Tonight is going to be so much fun. I invited a couple of my girlfriends. You'll like them. They're chill."

I followed Jess over to her car. Her house was a twenty minute drive from the bus station. I was starting to freak out a little bit. I had taken all my feelings for Henry and buried them just to survive. I knew seeing him would bring it all back.
    When we got to Jess' house, three of her friends showed up while we got dressed. She introduced me to them.

"Em, this is Sue, Rachel, and Erica. We've been friends since Kindergarten. I told them all about the Henry drama."

"Ugh, thanks I guess. Nice to meet you guys."

After we were ready, we all piled into Jess' Jeep to head to the club where Henry's band was playing. I couldn't believe I was going to see him. It felt like a different life when I was with him. I've been able to move on because I didn't have to worry about seeing him. Why did I agree to go tonight? I had a feeling that the facade that I was fine was about to come crashing down.

"Em, I told Nick we were going tonight and he told Henry. I hope that's okay."

So Henry knew I was coming to see him play. I wondered what he thought about it. I managed to go this whole summer without thinking about what he was feeling. Did he miss me? Was he as nervous as I was? Or worse, what if he didn't even care? What if he had moved on? I don't think I could handle seeing him with someone else.
Jess and her friends continued to talk about people I didn't know while I silently stared out the window. I was starting to feel like an outsider. I wish I had never come. I wasn't ready for this.
Jess pulled up to the club and we all jumped out of the car. I followed the group of girls to the front door where a bouncer checked our ID's and put a giant X on the back of our hands to indicate we were under 21. We made our way inside and the place was pretty crowded already. The band wasn't on stage yet. The club was on the smaller side. The stage was up against the back wall and a large bar was to the right of the stage. There were a few tables but mostly everyone was standing around waiting for the music to start.
We pushed our way up to the bar and ordered sodas. I really wished in that moment I had something stronger. I felt Jess put her arm around me.

"Are you okay? We can leave if you're uncomfortable."

"No, I'm fine. Just nervous about seeing Henry. Don't worry about me."

"Okay, if you change your mind, let me know."

I appreciated her concern but there was no way I could ruin everyone else's night. I could do this. At that moment, the lights went down and the crowd started cheering. Henry's bandmates walked out on stage. And there he was. He came out last. His hair was longer than before and he had let his facial hair grow in again. He was wearing his usual ripped jeans and a t shirt. He looked perfect. Everything he made me feel physically and emotionally came rushing back. He started playing his guitar and all I could think about was his hands on my body. I wanted to touch him. And I wanted him to touch me more.
    He started singing and I remembered everything that mouth did to me. How it had kissed every inch of my body. And all of the beautiful things it said to me. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to feel all the things he made me feel. I missed him. As hard as I tried to ignore it for two months, it was still there. I didn't want to live without him. Were our problems really that bad? Looking back now, I wished I hadn't given up. I should have tried to work it out. What if I had lost him forever? Could I handle never being with him again? The thought made me sick to my stomach. I needed to talk to him. He probably had moved on or didn't want to get into something serious again. But I needed to know where we stood even if it meant getting my heart broken all over again.