Inevitable

Distance

My heart broke a little at his words. He sounded so vulnerable and I had no choice but to deny him. I was not the type of person to go back on a promise. My neighbor, Janet, had been there for me when my parents were going through a divorce. Whenever things got too stressful at home, I would run over to her house and she always welcomed me with open arms. Her and her husband wanted children of their own desperately but struggled for years to get pregnant. Finally, after three rounds of in vitro, she got pregnant with twins six years ago.
Unfortunately, it had taken its toll on their marriage and they got divorced last year. Janet had to go back to work and I promised I would watch the twins for her over the summer. I felt like it was the least I could do after everything she had done for me. There was no way I could bail on her.

"Henry, you don't understand. My neighbor has been like a second mom to me. I can't do that to her. I would love nothing more than to spend the summer with you but it's just not that simple. I can come visit every weekend. I'll take the bus. Like you said before, we can make it work."

He ran his hand over his face and through his hair. I could tell he was really upset. I wish we had more time. He was right when he said we just got started. What if we grew apart over the summer? He was going to be playing in bars all over the state. Could I handle that or was I going to turn into one of those crazy jealous girlfriends? Henry pulled out of my arms and got out of bed.

"I'm going to go get a shower."

I was too upset to move. I didn't want things to be tense with Henry. He really put himself out there by asking me to move in with him and I had rejected him. I needed to make him see what he meant to me. I got out of bed and pulled his tee shirt over my head. I grabbed my toiletry bag and walked out of the room to the bathroom. Henry was already in the shower and the room was full of steam. He must have heard me open the door but he didn't say anything. I peeled his shirt off of me and stepped into the shower. He was standing under the water with his eyes closed. I wrapped my arms around him and I started planting soft kisses on his chest. He opened his eyes and looked down at me.

"I love you Henry."

He responded by cupping my face and leaning down for a very passionate kiss. He moved a hand to the back of my head and pressed me closer to him. There was a feeling of desperation in this kiss. I couldn't give him what he needed from me and I hated the way that was making me feel.
When he finally let me go, he still didn't say anything. He moved me under the water so I could get my hair wet. Then he grabbed some shampoo and massaged it onto my scalp. It felt heavenly. I closed my eyes and reveled in the feel of his strong hands on my head. When he was done, he moved me back under the water and rinsed the shampoo out of my hair.
I wanted to return the favor so I grabbed the shampoo and squeezed some into my hands. I reached up and started lathering it into his hair. His eyes never left mine. He had this intense look that I couldn't read. I leaned his head back under the water and rinsed it out.
Henry grabbed the body wash I had brought with me and squeezed some into his hands. He started rubbing it all over me. He started at my shoulders and worked his way down my arms. Then he moved to my stomach and went up over my chest. Next, he turned me around and knelt down to do my legs and feet. When he stood back up, he started massaging my shoulders. It was the most sensual thing I had ever experienced. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. He then maneuvered me under the water to rinse me off. When I was done. He reached past me to turn the water off.

"Don't you need to get washed off?"

"I did that before you got in."

"Oh. I was hoping to do that for you."

"Next time."

There was something off with his voice. He was still upset about our conversation earlier. I wished I could have given him what he wanted. I didn't know how to fix this. We had been in such a good place. I didn't want to spend what little time we had left like this.
He opened the shower curtain and grabbed a towel. He wrapped me up and then stepped out to get a towel for himself. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was a wall going up between us.
He still hadn't really said much twenty minutes later after we had gone back to his room and gotten dressed. I was standing in front of his mirror braiding my hair and internally I was having a panic attack. Henry had gone out to the living room to wait for me to finish getting ready for work. It felt like he was a million miles away.
When I was done, I walked out to the living room. Henry was in the kitchen and Jess and Nick were laying on the couch watching TV.

"Where's Jane? Did she go home already?"

"Her and Bill took an Uber back to the dorms after you guys went to bed. I guess she wanted to take advantage of having the room to herself."

"Are you guys going to be here tonight? Henry and I were going to go out to dinner and then come back here to hang out."

"Yeah I think so. Wait, I just had the best idea! Let's all go out to eat together! I'll ask Jane too. You've been raving about that Mexican place for two weeks. Let's go there."

Henry walked out of the kitchen with a piece of toast on a plate that he put down on the table. He still had an unreadable expression on his face.

"Here, you need to eat something."

"Thank you. What do you think about all of us going out to dinner tonight?"

"Yeah sure. Whatever you want to do."

He walked back into the kitchen and Jess gave me a funny look. At least I wasn't the only one picking up on Henry's mood.

"So I'll text you when I get off of work and we can figure out the plan."

I sat down at the table and took a bite of the toast. My stomach was still a little queasy but I was starting to get my appetite back. Jess came over and sat next to me.

"Everything okay with you two?" she whispered to me.

"I'll tell you later."

When I finished, Henry grabbed my bag and we walked out to his car. Neither one of us spoke on the drive over to campus. You could have cut the tension with a knife. When he pulled up out front of the student union, I leaned over and kissed him with as much feeling as I could. He kissed me back harder. At least we still had a physical connection. When it ended, I reluctantly got out of the car and watched Henry drive away.