Inevitable

Chapter 72

I didn't know what to say. I knew this was a dream come true for Henry and his band but I couldn't help the dark cloud that came over me at his words.

"Wait, are you saying that you're dropping out?" I tried to make sense of what he was telling me. If Henry left school, what did that mean for us?

"No, I don't think so. We should only miss the first week or two. If it ends up being more than that, I guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I know this is a big shock and it's all happening really fast but we can figure something out. I'm sure I'll get some time off and I can visit you. In fact, being in New York, I'm closer to you than if I were up at school. Only two hours away."

In my head, I knew what I should be saying. What a good girlfriend should be saying. But after being depressed all week missing Henry, I couldn't help feeling selfish and thinking about how all of this will effect me. So I didn't say anything.

"Em, are you still there?" Henry asked after it was silent on my end for longer than expected.

"Yeah, I'm still here. I guess I'm just processing everything." I still was finding it hard to be positive about the whole thing.

"Isn't this exciting? We might actually get a record contract. I've dreamt of that happening for as long as I can remember." I could hear the excitement in his voice. I had to be happy for him. I had to snap out of my selfish funk.

"That's so great Henry! I'm so happy for you! What is your next step?"

"Well, we don't start recording till Monday so this weekend, we'll drive back home to pack up our stuff and Pete is already looking into renting a place in Brooklyn. We get a small allowance for living expenses so who knows what we can afford. It doesn't matter though. I'd sleep in my car if I had to. We'll need to pick what songs we want to put on the demo to represent ourselves to record companies." He continued to talk about everything that would be involved in creating a demo but I found my mind wandering.

I felt so conflicted. I wanted Henry to realize his dreams but I didn't think it would happen so soon. What if he never came back? What did that mean for us? I tuned back in to what Henry was saying.

"No matter what, I'll be sure to be back by your birthday. I wouldn't miss your 21st! I want to buy you your first legal drink." My birthday was at the end of September. Two months away. Was he expecting to be in New York that long? This whole conversation was making my head spin. I managed to convince Henry that I was happy for him even if I felt conflicted. When I hung up with him, everything I had been feeling this week and the shock of Henry's news caught up with me and I broke down. I don't know if I was being paranoid but I just had a terrible feeling about our future.

I must have cried myself to sleep because the next thing I knew the sun was streaming in through my window because I had forgotten to shut my curtains last night. My phone said it was only 7 but I had gone to sleep so early the night before so I had gotten enough sleep. Might as well get up and start my day. It was looking to be a beautiful summer day but I felt like a dark cloud was hanging over my head.

I had a text from Henry that he must have sent after getting home from his celebratory night out. It said he missed me and he wished I was there with him. It was sent around 3am so I know there was no way he was awake yet. I would text him in a few hours. He was driving back to his apartment today to pack up. I had made plans with Liam tonight so maybe that would take my mind off of everything. His friend that lived one town over from me was having a get together at his house and Liam invited me. I was looking forward to seeing him since we ended the school year on good terms.

I spent the morning alternating between cleaning my room and watching Schitts Creek on Netflix. I didn't want to stop and think about things too much. I knew I was letting my insecurities take over and that had been our downfall in the Spring. I trusted Henry and when he said he would come back to me, I had to believe him. I finally heard from him around lunchtime. I practically pounced on my phone when I saw it ringing.

"Hey, how was last night? I was afraid to call you too early since you were out late."

"It was good. Would have been better with you there. God I miss you! What about you? What did you do last night?"

I wasn't about to tell him that I spent my Friday night crying over him. "I just went to bed after I hung up with you. It was a long week."

"We just got on the road. Pete is driving. I just can't believe this is all happening. It doesn't feel real, ya know. I keep pinching myself to make sure I'm not dreaming." He chuckled at his joke.

"You deserve it Henry. I know how hard you've worked to get to this point."

"Em, are you okay with all of this? I can tell something is bothering you. I know this changes things for us a little bit but I promise it's only temporary. We probably won't even get any bites after we send our demo out. But I have to at least try. Who knows when I'll ever get another opportunity like this again."

I guess I wasn't as good an actress as I thought I was. I guess I should just be honest about my feelings. I took a deep breath before getting into it.

"I'm really happy for you Henry. I swear! It's just.....I have this sinking feeling you aren't coming back to school. We just found our way back to each other and I'm afraid this is going to break us again. I know I'm being selfish but I don't think I could lose you again." By the time I finished, I was crying. The floodgates were opened, no point in stopping it now.