now i find myself sitting here on a date with a guy, don't get me wrong. he is sweet, he really is.
he just isn't jayiln.
she had me falling in love from my window. i hate her for making me do this but i get it though, she wants me to be sure of what i'm doing by comparing how i feel when i'm with her and him.
"listen, i think we need to cut this short. i really need to run" i tell him standing up, i go around to give him a small hug, "you're great, amazing guy but i don't feel that way about you, i'm sorry" i tell him.
"dinner is on me" i tell him putting cash on the table before running out the restaurant to my car out back and speed to jaylin's house.
i find myself standing in front of the house just staring at it as i think about what i could possibly say to her, "i wonder if she's home" i jump at the voice turning around to see her behind me.
"fuck, you scared me" i mumble, she chuckles and walks over to the door.
"do you want to come in or just keep standing outside my house like a creep" i roll my eyes following her in, i take off my shoes as i look around.
i barely got in the door, the last time i was here. the dark grey interior makes sense, the whole house is light up by dim lights.
"come on" she says leading us to the kitchen, it's also a dark grey interior with lights lining around the tables and above the stove, "i love your place, what the fuck" i tell her watching her pack away the groceries she brought in with her.
"thank you, i spend my time in here so it means a lot. you want something to drink?" i nod watching her pull out a glass and wash it before filling it up with apple juice and hands it over.
"so, how did your date go?" she asks with me following her wherever she is leading us.
"i'm here now, ain't i? you can guess how that went" i say walking around the living room looking around the book collection organized in colour and title.
"but i want you to tell me" she says making me look over at her and roll my eyes while looking at her vinyl collection, a small smile breaks on my face when i see the familiar cover with myself on it.
she only has the one album of mine.
i place the pin back on the vinyl that was already out to start the music again, i place my drink down to the coaster as i look through the clothes hung in here and the sewing machine, "these are fucking fire" i tell her looking at the clothes she's created.
"thank you but come talk to me" i walk over to her and push her to lay on the couch while getting on her lap.
"i went on the date like you suggested and.. i can tell you that nobody can kiss me like you can" i tell her using her stomach to hold me up, "and i want this. i have wanted this for a while" i tell her leaning down.
