i cant believe this is actually happening as we sat across each other at this cute cafe, i have never seen it before nor have i heard of it but it's cute and aesthetic pleasing.
jay is treating me for mothers day.
she said if anyone has seen or sucked their girl's titties, they should be treated to mother's day. and funny enough.. i don't disagree.
i'm glad it's empty and quiet where we are. i was able to walk down the street without attracting attention.
"so where are we going exactly?" i ask jay, we have been driving for sometime now and she decided to check out this cafe on the way but i don't mind, i was getting hungry.
"i don't know" she shrugs with a smirk making me roll my eyes but a soft smile stays on my face.
"you're the worst" i tell her throwing a small piece of toast, she catches and puts it n her mouth making me laugh.
"how are you feeling?" she asks me, i told her about how hesitant i was about going out without security and all.
"good. nobody has come up to and it's refreshing honestly" i tell her making her nod with a tiny smile as she stares at me.
"i'm glad. you look pretty by the way" she tell me going back to eating. i stare at her with blush tinting my cheeks before going back to eating mumbling a 'thank you'.
"I can't believe I wasted time and energy on someone when you were literally in front of me. someone who has never even taken me to a Taco Bell date" I say rolling my eyes making jay laugh a bit while wrapping her arm around my waist.
"that is pretty fucked" she agrees.
I kiss my teeth looking around the beautiful cave, she took me to a private beach in Malibu and we were riding our jet skis when we found a beautiful cage.
which is where we're at.
"i wish i had known you then to maybe save the heartbreak" i tell her as i trace the tattoo on her shoulder.
"no, you don't. i was a fucking player then, i would have hurt you" she tells me playing with the ends of my hair.
"really?"
"most definitely. it was my first job and i got to travel while doing so, i kind of went crazy" she tells me making me chuckle a bit.
"was it really that bad?"
"mmh, especially on hotel nights. i had someone over every time but there was this one girl though, i don't even know her name but she was from-"
"i don't want to hear about your hookups jay" i cut her off making her laugh.
"alright. i'm sorry" she chuckles rubbing my hip as i trace around her arm.
"can i ask you some personal questions?" i ask her hesitantly, she stares at me for a bit before nodding, "it's just to get to know you a bit better" i tell her as i make myself comfortable on her lap.
"sure, go ahead"
"uh.. what happen to your parents? i have never heard you mention them once" i ask her watching her look away from me before meeting my eyes again.
"i never got to meet them. my mom apparently died when i was two years old and i have no absolute memory of her and my dad was never someone anybody talked about. my parents were married but divorced before i was even born" she tells me.
"he didn't want kids, my mom got pregnant and he dipped" she adds, i search her eyes a bit before nodding slowly.
"do you think maybe you want to find your dad at some point or have you ever tried?" she immediately shakes her head.
"he didn't want kids. why would i try and find him and make the poor man's life difficult? he knows he has a child somewhere around and he would have found me if he wanted to" she shrugs.
damn.
"so then who raised you?" i ask her taking her hands.
"my aunt and she passed away when i was 12. i wasn't legally under her name so i was homeless after that until i got pulled into a lot of shit you couldn't possibly dream off. i've never been to school, when i finally got my first job which i didn't need education for. i was then able to my first place to call home" my eyebrows furrow as i listen to her.
"what kind of things did you get dragged into?" i ask her.
"substance abuse, shoplifting. its just a lot that i don't want to get into" she shrugs, i keep quiet after that just looking at her.
"so what did you do after quitting from working with us?" i finally ask.
"only fans" she shrugs, "it was a no face case and i took that time to educate myself then i got the job i have now" she tells me.
"what do you do?"
"marketing" i nod.
"when was the last time you cried? i mean you've been through some shit" i ask her wrapping my arm around her neck.
"i don't know, its been years. crying doesn't get me anywhere so why bother" she says hugging me back.
"but it's good for you mentally" i tell her softly.
"for you, sure. but billie nothing can really take me down with the shit i've been through. i just always been guarded, i've gotten where i am alone with no support. i'm sure i can manage holding back one or two tears" she tells me.
"do you ever want to cry sometimes? what do you do when you're having a bad day?" i ask against her shoulder.
"i just make a near piece of clothing or read porn on paper but i will tell you that i do kind of just go mute or disappear" she says chuckling, i stay quiet rubbing the back of her head.
"come to me next time you have a bad day" i tell her making her nod against my shoulder.
