"but i don't like this" my eyebrows furrow as i tell jay, who was standing across me staring at me blanky.
"do you even care?" my voice cracks as my tears start rolling down my face, "i feel like you don't fucking care" i tell her as i wipe away my tears.
"yes billie, i do care about you" she tells me simply as she comes closer to hug me making me push her.
"no, you don't though jay. i give so fucking much and get nothing back. i don't know what's got you so fucked up but jay, i want to go on dates, hold hands, show me love. i don't always want to fuck you" i tell he as i shake my head.
"i feel like all you see when you look at me is a walking sex toy or something but jay dude.. i just want all that cute shit too" i mumble the last part as i wipe away my tears.
i watch her lips her lips and nod while looking around before looking back at me, "okay" i scoff and roll my eyes.
"okay? seriously? see what i mean? i give my all dude. i try to get all of you because i am all in but i don't get shit from you" i tell her as my chest heavies watching her look straight at me with no expression.
"i should have know there was no relationship with someone like you" i scoff collecting my things.
"what is that suppose to mean?" she asks raising an eyebrow.
"oh so now you're interest when it's about you" i roll my eyes as i put on my shoes.
"what is that suppose to mean billie?"
"it means go fuck yourself" i tell her as i shut the front door and walk over to my car in finneas's driveway and immediately speed off.
jaylin
i wipe my tears as i stare at the door silently hoping she will change her mind and turn back to me but i soon hear her car speed down the street.
fuck me bro.
i don't know how to show her i care.
i want to show her i care but i physically can't, I don't know how to.
my foot anxiously taps on the floor while my fingers tap along the wall counting the seconds until i hear her car speed back my way but i gave up after 3000.
my hands are shaky as i reach for my anxiety pills and swallow them down with water before making my way to my bedroom.
