Dear Goodbye... [COMPLETED]

DIARY ENTRY #39

DIARY ENTRY #39

Diary,

It's Valentine's day. It's... It's supposed to be about love. It's supposed to be a happy day. But I think Cupid doesn't want me to be happy.

I said I should not care about him, that I should stop giving him gifts every single time I get a chance to, but what can I say? I'm an effing fool out of love. I actually prepared him a box of chocolates, hindi ko lang sure kung kelan at papaano ko ibibigay.

I was waiting and thinking of perfect timing inside our classroom when Albright—a classmate of Kaine, and one of those girls I envy since close siya kay Kaine—knocked on our door.

Wala naman akong planong pansinin siya but then Jessica—a classmate of mine and Albright's friend—greeted her. Jusmiyo, nakaupo lang ako malapit sa pintong 'yun, kaya kitang-kita at rinig na rinig ko sila kahit hindi ko sadyain.

Jessica asked Albright, "Anong kailangan mo?" and the latter answered, "Charger." Hindi pa ako chismosa sa lagay na 'to, Diary. Kaya lang naman ito memorable dahil sa sumunod na tinanong ni Jessica, "Taray may chocolate ka ah. Kanino galing?"

Napatingin ako nung mga panahong 'yun at nakita kong tumingin din sa akin si Albright bago sumagot ng, "Kay Kaine."

I am fully aware that my mind isn't working fine at the moment, so I overthink after hearing that conversation—those words—that name, I... I broke down.

I ended up crying in the corner of that classroom right after she left. I was there, trying to sob as quietly as possible.

Hindi ko alam kung ipagpapasalamat ko bang wala na kaming klase nung mga oras na 'yun, at least kakaunti lang ang kaklase kong nakakita sa akin.

They kept asking me what was wrong, what happened, why the hell was I crying, and what the actual hell is happening, but I kept my mouth shut. I answered no one. All I did was cry my heart out in that very corner.

Nakakainis nga eh. Ayoko naman sana nila akong makita sa ganoong sitwasyon pero hindi na kinaya ng mga luha kong makaabot sa CR man lang eh. Bigla na lang silang bumuhos doon.

So ang ending, namamaga lang naman ang mga mata ko. Saka ko lang naalalang susunduin pala ako ni Daddy. At alam mo ba kung anong sagot ko sa kanya nung tinanong niya kung ba't namamaga yung mga mata ko?

I said, "Si Wattpad po kasi." And I got away with that reason. Pinagalitan niya lang ako dahil naaadik na ako sa app, pero tinawanan ko lang siya.

I need to stop.

Zoe