40. Not a Monster

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Ava’s Pov

After a while, he pulled back with his eyes connected to mine. They were blood shot, reddened, and still in tears. Caspian’s hands cusped my cheek, with an astonished expression, after a while.

“I didn’t mean to wake you--”

“It’s okay,” I assured him, leaning my forehead on his. “It’s all okay,”

Beneath me, I knew I wanted to heal whatever scars he held from his past. But what made me really scared was the fact that I had mine. Whenever I had a dream about my sister, Jasmine, I really held back from the world.

I bore scars too, and wondered if this was why the Moon Goddess paired us.

To think that I lost my sister, and he lost his too. He lost his mum, to war and I lost my dad who was a spy, too. Being treated like an outcast, in my village… So was he discriminated for bearing a beast…

It did make me to feel and empathize that amount of pain. It was really horrible and torturous…

So horrible that it hurt badly.

“You could go to sleep now.” Caspian voiced out, taking my hands in his.

“Nope, I already got enough sleep. I prefer staying up with you.” I reluctantly let out, pinning my hands with his more and looking up to him. With a delicate expression, I brought his hands to my lips and kissing them softly.

“You have to rest for the baby, Lady Ava. I really don’t want to burden you--”

“You’re not burdening me, Caspian. I’ve gotten enough sleep, and I feel energized. And who knows? We’ll teach the baby not to be scared of storms.” I replied dishing out that excuse with a weak smile.

“Sure, okay… thanks.”

Caspian had insane under eyes from lack of sleep. I really wanted it to all stop. Really wanted him to heal from whatever scars he had. It was something he bore for centuries and I knew it was going to be hard, but I wanted to at least try.

I needed him to trust me.

“Your sister--"

“I can’t. Not now…”

He stiffly said. I could swear a piece of my heart broke at his declaration. My eyes saddened, connecting to his, which was flickered in hurt. Still reddened, with little amount, of tears, just at the brim.

“Why?”

He made a move to look the other way, but I pinned his hand on my stomach, directing his gaze to me with my hands.

“I think I breed a monster in me, Ava. Whatever I did was by accident, I really loved her, I swear. I still do now…”

Caspian took my both hands saying.

I paid attention as he explained everything. Right from how they accused her, and how badly he reacted. Her last words, and how it was so painful.

Of how he was compared to his brother, Alcander.

And that even bred a bigger monster in him. The only person… that did see the goodness in him was Lady Archer. And that snapped when she died.

Caspian leaned in and I kissed him as many times as I could. Voicing out, what I felt was the truth.

“You’re not a monster,”

I said, with my eyes narrowing at how evil the palace subjects were, centuries ago.

Caspian had explained that back then, sorcery was banned and when something related to it was seen, they scorned it so much. Hated it, isolated it and eliminated it, if possible.

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