Marauders & their Evans

Fifth Year 1975

Chapter Thirty Two

Adjusting to life in Hogwarts after the summer had always been easy, especially after having done it for five years, after the first few weeks everything easily settled into a routine. So James Potter was baffled when his best mate was nowhere to be found for their early morning quidditch practice on a cold October morning.

Ever since Sirius joined him on the team back in third year, they hadn't missed or been late to a single practice or match, all thanks to James. His first thought was that probably he had already left, but who was he kidding Sirius Black had to be dragged out of bed if it was earlier than 10 in the morning.

Shrugging it off, thinking Sirius will arrive on his own, he left their dorm and made his way to the field. Yet Sirius never showed up, not for breakfast, not for class or even lunch. It was around dinner when James started to worry about his friend's disappearance. So he started asking around.

He first asked Prim if she had seen him, to which she answered: "He's probably somewhere off with Regulus." But James knew his meetings with him had stopped a long time ago, Sirius had told him so.

He then asked Remus. "You know Sirius James. He's probably plotting something against Snivellus or any other Slytherin." Maybe, but James wasn't convinced.

His last hope was Peter but not even him could give him an answer. "Maybe he decided to let Padfoot out for a while and took a run in the forest." That was possible, Sirius had done it several times, but he should've been back by now.

Worried, James took out the map from his robes. They had promised to never use the map on each other, but his best mate had been missing the whole day. Lookin at his surroundings making sure no one was looking he hid behind a corner before quietly whispering. "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." The map slowly revealed itself, and James's wide eyes scanned it before closing it back again. "Mischief managed."

How Sirius had managed to avoid them all for the whole day, yet be 'hiding' in plain sight, in their dorm room, was something James's mind couldn't wrap itself around, but luckily he would get an explanation soon. Making his way up the mahogany staircase James didn't know what he expected to see when he finally made it into his dorm, but it definitely wasn't this.

Sirius was sitting on the floor staring at the fire, eyes void of any emotion. Beside him a few crumpled parchment pieces, and a cardboard box filled with what James assumed were letters, lay on the floor. He held a cigarette in one hand and a half empty fire whisky bottle in the other. Where he had got them from, and when did his friend pick up the habit, James didn't know. Slowly he walked towards his best mate and sat down.

"Pads, is everything all right?" No answer. "Padfoot?" He asked once more. "Sirius?" He finally said in a low tone. The boy looked at him before simply saying. "I can't do this anymore." His eyes were red and they looked glassy in the firelight. Had he been crying? James's face scrunched in confusion. "What do you mean?" It was as if that simple question had awakened something in Sirius, who abruptly stood up.

"This!" He exclaimed, holding a letter in his hand. "I can't keep pretending like I don't fucking care." James wasn't sure what he was talking about, but he thought it was best to let Sirius finish. "Like if the things my mother writes to me every other day don't hurt, as if I don't feel like a fucking disappointment every time I read them! Worst thing is I don't even know why I keep the letters in the first place." So James was right, the box is filled with letters. "Merlin knows she's left a more permanent reminder of how sad and miserable she is of having me as a son." Sirius said, falling back down on the floor.

James didn't know what he was talking about, but then as if a light bulb went off in his head, everything fell into place. The scars he had seen on Sirius's back after quidditch practice, which he just assumed were from playing the dangerous sport, how he always brushed off or made jokes about being the family disappointment. How he had flinched and winced back at King Cross station. Yet James couldn't understand it, he couldn't even fathom the idea of his parents saying no to him, much less do anything to hurt him.

He didn't say anything for a while, mostly because he didn't know what to say. After a few seconds of silence he hesitantly spoke. "Sirius, I won't pretend to know what you're going through, but if you ever, and I mean ever, need a place to stay you're always welcome at my house." Silence fell upon them once again.

Silently James stood up and started picking up the letters, Sirius's gaze following him as he threw the letters into the fire. James then grabbed the bottle that laid on the floor. "We better hide this before someone sees it." That made Sirius smile. "And this..." he said, picking up the cigarette that had fallen from Sirius's hand in his outburst. ""I hope you know they are not good for your health, you should stop before it's too late." "I'll try." Was all Sirius answered.

"All right. Up you go." James said, pulling Sirius off the ground. "What are you planning?" Sirius asked. James grinned and pulled out the map. "I think it's time for a late night adventure to Hogsmeade." They had never attempted to sneak out of Hogwarts before. "You're not serious." "Oh but I am my dear friend."

With the help of the map and James's invisibility cloak, they made it all the way up to the Three Broomsticks. They walked inside and took a seat on the stools near the bar. Madam Rosamerta took one look at them and raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?" James grinned. "It's a special occasion." He said. "My friend here needs a little distraction." He said, patting Sirius on the back. "So two glasses of fire whisky please." Madam Rosamerta shook her head before coming back with two glasses of butter bear. James looked at them and shrugged his shoulders. "Close enough."

They both sat in silence holding their drink with one hand. "Thank you." Sirius finally spoke up. James nodded. "Anytime" No more words were exchanged, no more words were needed, but at that moment they both had a mutual understanding. James and Sirius were more than best mates, they were brothers and they would always have each other's backs.

A/N

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