Marauders & their Evans

Fifth Year 1975

Chapter Thirty Four

Sirius had been actually looking forward to this party for a long time. It was the perfect opportunity to lose himself in his new found vice without anyone questioning why. When they finally arrived nothing could prepare him for what he felt when he saw her. She was standing near a table, the light creating a halo around her making her look stunning, and when she turned to look at them with the brightest smile on her face he swears he felt the air leave his lungs. She was wearing a pink jumpsuit that contrasted brightly with her red hair yet: She couldn't look more beautiful. He thought.

She walked over to them and started to talk. If he was honest with himself he wasn't even listening, too entranced looking at her. That is, until reality crashed over him like a wave when he saw Diggory wrap an arm around her waist, and then witnessing the killer smile she gave him in return. There was that feeling again, the one that only came over him when he saw them together. When they walked away he desperately started looking for something, or rather someone to distract him from his thoughts.

The party was halfway through, by now everybody was either very drunk or passed out. Sirius had spent the majority of his night flirting and talking with a few girls who were trying too hard to gain his attention, but he had deemed it impossible to talk to them without comparing them to her. He was leaning against the wall looking at his surroundings until his gaze landed on her. She was on the dance floor with him, clearly enjoying herself and having fun with someone who wasn't him. He cast his eyes down to his cup filled with fire whiskey, and he slowly stirred it as the memory of the first time he ever drank came to his mind.

****

It was barely two weeks into the summer break and Sirius was already losing his mind. There wasn't a second his mother didn't berate him, gave him hateful glances, complained about how terribly thick and stupid Gryffindors are, and consantly remark how utterly disappointed and mostly miserable she was of having him for a son.

He was grateful for Regulus's attempt to sway her attention away from him though it never lasted long. Any time before this particular summer break Sirius would've stayed silent and obeyed, but he figured he liked challenging his mother. He liked going against her and her ridiculous pure blood ideals, but every comeback or rebellious act wasn't left unpunished by Walburga Black.

His father didn't even bother to speak or even cast a look his way. His only inputs were grunts of agreement and one syllable words. That summer was the summer Sirius finally lost all admiration for his father as he watched him stay unbothered by the screams of agony from his own son.

It was a hot night in July when it happened. Everyone was asleep and Sirius was in the living room, staring blankly at the light rain outside the window, it was then when the liquor cabinet caught his eye. All the bottles neatly lined up on the table and an equally tidy row of glasses in front of them. The amber and clear liquids called out to him. Just a little taste. He thought, plucking a bottle of gin from the back row and pouring a small amount into a glass. It was fairly new, he'd never seen anyone drink from it.

The liquor burned his throat and made his face contort in disgust, but the feeling it caused was certainly pleasurable. After a couple of sips, his lips and tongue were numb, he discarded the glass altogether. He put the bottle up from his mouth and his careful, tentative sips turned to reckless gulps.

Like everything else in his house, it was expensive stuff. He knew that. And yet he drank it like it was nothing more than plain pumpkin juice. He liked the power he felt when he did this, drinking it like it was nothing. Like this whole House was nothing.

Thank Merlin it was Regulus who found him almost passed out on the living room floor. If it had been his mother who knows what she would've done to him, though it couldn't possibly be worse than what she had already done.