Marauders & their Evans

Fifth Year 1976

Chapter Forty Four

I was sitting under the shade of the willow tree by the lake. After the Gryffindor party I just need a moment for myself to try and make sense of it all. Lately it feels like Sirius is playing mind games with me. First he acts like he doesn't care, then he kisses me, runs away right after it, and then he drunkenly confesses his feelings. Or so I think.

I was mindlessly twirling my wand in my hand, completely lost in thought, when I felt it being pulled out of my grasp. I turn to my side to see a black dog holding it between its teeth. "Give it back." I said plainly.  He only tilted his head and I glared at him. I could practically see the cogs in his mind turning and I knew what he was thinking. "Don't you dare." I warned him, but he completely ignored me and started running away. "Come back here!" I yelled at him as I furiously stood up and started running after him.

Eventually he stopped at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, far away from the castle and far away from wandering eyes. The black dog that once stood in front me had morphed back into the last person I wanted to see. "Give me back my wand Black." I seethed. Hurt flashed in his eyes when I called him by his last name, but it was gone as quickly as it had appeared. "I will. Once you hear me out." I glared at him. "I'm done listening to you." I went to snatch back my wand out of his hand, but he kept it above his head out of my reach. "I'm not playing games, give it back." I demanded once again. "I'm not either. So will you please listen to me?" He asked desperately. I only stared at him before letting out a huff in frustration turning around ready to walk back without it. Wand be damned.

I had barely taken two steps when he yelled. "I'm sorry!" I stopped in my tracks, but didn't turn around to face him. Sirius continued. "Fuck Prim, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring you. I'm sorry for kissing you and then running away like a coward. I'm sorry that the only time I've been honest about my feelings for you I was drunk." I finally turned to look at him. I didn't think he would remember.

There was nothing but raw emotion on his face, something I had never seen before. "But I wasn't lying. I like you Prim. I like you more than a friend." He admitted and I felt all the air leave my lungs. "But I know I fucked it all up, so most of all I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you." He said voice breaking.

Walking up to him I took his face in my hands. "Sirius." He avoided looking at me. "Sirius, can you please look at me?" I asked and he did. "This whole mess has been driving me fucking mad." He turned to look away once more. "But I like you too Sirius. I have for a long time, and I'm scared." He gave me a confused expression. "I'm so fucking scared because my heart is completely yours and you can so easily break it. How can I trust that you won't run out on me again when things get complicated?" He gave me a pained look.

"I don't know how to give you what you want, what you deserve," he confessed. "But Merlin Prim I'd be lying if I didn't say I am a selfish bastard and I also don't want to let you go." He said. "Then don't." I answered. "We can figure it out together."

***
Things with Sirius finally seemed to take a turn for the better after finally having a real conversation with him. Things hadn't magically changed overnight, life isn't a fairytale, but it was the little things that gave me hope for the future. The longing glances, the subtle smiles, the lingering touches and of course the nonstop over the top flirting. Things were going slow, but steady.

It was lunch time when it happened. I was sitting with Alice when suddenly a voice was heard in the entire hall. "Ladies and gents!" It was Peter standing up from his seat. "For one night, and one night only we give you the talented, the incredible Mr. Sirius Black!" James introduced him doing the same as Peter, I turned to look at Remus, only to find him already looking at me. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes, and giving me a wink he waved his wand.