If I Stay✔️

44

A knock on the hospital room door broke Leo from his thoughts. Calling out a soft come in he watched anxiously as Lily's head of brunette curls poked through.

"Le?" Lily pushed the door open a little bit further, making no move to actually enter the room. She wasn't so sure that Leo would want to see her, not after how badly she'd let him down. "Could I... can I come in?"

Seeing the blatant unease on her almost identical features, Leo sighed. He didn't want his sister — his twin, to feel anxious about speaking with him. Deciding to break the ice, Leo tilted his head to the side, a teasing smile lifting on his lips as he stared at her.

"I don't know, Lil." He said in a playful tone, "can you?"

"Shut up," the unease slowly dispersed as a breathy laugh left her.

She entered the room, closing the door softly behind her as not to awaken Zac, who was sound asleep in the chair by Leo's bedside, his head tilted back as soft snores left his parted lips.

Leo watched her intently, his eyes focused on her feet as she shuffled from one foot to the other. "Lil, c'mere." He patted the space on the mattress beside him. "It's only me, I don't know why you're being so awkward."

"Sorry," she breathed. A soft smile on her lips as she practically skipped towards the bed. She was desperate to fix things with her twin, but the guilt that lay dormant in her chest had her questioning every move she made.

"What's up?" Leo asked, feeling his own unease rise. What could she want to talk about? Would she ask me why? Has someone told her about... him?

Plopping down on the bed beside her brother, Lily mirrored his position as she shuffled her body up the bed, resting her back against the plastic headboard. "I want to apologise to you."

Oh, Leo thought, clearly confused by her words as his brows drew to a frown. "You've got nothing to apologise for."

Exhaling an exasperated breath, Lily turned and looked at him, her eyes pained as they locked to his. "But I do." I really do. "Leo, I've not been a good sister to you. I've let you down, I seen the signs and got too caught up in my own happiness to actually speak to you."

"Lily —"

"No," she held her hand up, silencing his next words. Lily knew she'd done wrong, she'd let him down repeatedly and there was no way she was going to let him dismiss that fact— dismiss his own worth. "I seen how you withdrew yourself, I seen how the weight gradually fell from your body. I seen how you'd recoil from touch and yet, I still broke your boundaries by touching you. I sat in my room and listened as Grey scolded you for pushing me. It was cowardly of me to stay silent and do nothing as he berated you, Leo. I've been so fucking selfish and put myself before you on too many occasions."

She turned her gaze to the scratchy blanket, mindlessly pulling it between her fingers. "I love you so much and I'm so sorry for not being there when you clearly needed me." Her voice grew quiet as the lump her her throat expanded. "I really hope you can forgive me, Leo. I'd love nothing more than to try and make this up to you— to be the sister I should've been from the start. The sister you deserve." She lifted her teary eyes to his, "'cause you deserve more, Le. So much more."

I don't, not at all. Leo thought, gazing at his twin in disbelief. "You're wrong, you know."

"I'm not—"

"You are," Leo smiled, gently taking her hand in his. "You're not selfish, Lily. At least, not to me. I understand why you focused on yourself, and I'm not angry, I promise."

Lily stared at him, her bottom lip trembling as the warm tears glided down her cheeks.
"But—"

"No, no buts." Leo said softly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders before pulling her into his embrace. Resting his head on her curls, he continued. "You lost ten years of living, Lil. You were trapped, locked in a basement with no friends, with no knowledge of what true love or family meant— no knowledge of what living actually meant. You're allowed to put your own happiness first. I want you to put yourself first, you deserve to live every second of life to the fullest, I'd never want to be the one who hold you back."