If I Stay✔️

94| part two

chapter song: Rescue - Lauren Daigle
trigger warning: mentions of abuse, sexual assault, m*rco, mental illness, violence, death.

L E O

My body was submerged in darkness, the bitter chill crawling up my spine, clinging to my skin with it's tight embrace like it needed me and I was it's only source of refuge.

In that moment, I had a fleeting thought; it felt serene, peaceful in a way that made me want to seal my eyes shut and stay like this forever.

I couldn't feel anything anymore, the numbness of the cold had sank it's teeth into my nerve endings, immobilising my senses, a stark difference to the mental numbness I'd grown familiar with over the years. A bittersweet refreshment from the one constant feeling I've always known.

I could hear Lily's pleas in the distance, her voice muffled by the water in my ears, yet still frantic as she begged for me to open my eyes. She didn't know I was alive, she didn't know that for one split second I wished I wasn't. Or maybe she did, my thoughts on life — living haven't been a secret for a while now.

"Leo," she cried, the sound of water splashing resonated in my ears as a pressure hit my shoulder with begging force. "I don't want to die."

It was that one statement, five whimpered words that made me snap out of it. This moment wasn't just mine and whilst I didn't care about my own outcome, I didn't want my sister to die either. She deserved to live.

I jolted upright, my head lifting from the water as my mouth parted in a heaved gasp, my lungs greedily breathing in the oxygen they had been limited. Groggily, I took in our surroundings. Marco was unconscious, slumped in the drivers seat with his head above the rising water, temple resting against the window as blood poured from his broken nose.

I pulled my eyes away from him, desperately trying to find an exit. The current was pulling the car under rapidly, the water levels that had first been at the top of my shoulders, now at the base of my chin.

"Lily," I called out, wincing as I twisted my head in her direction. There was a source of warmth pouring from my temple, blinding my left eye with crimson red. "Lil, are you okay?" I ran my eyes over her face, it was the only part of her I could see. She had her head tilted back, trying to keep the water out of her mouth as it moulded around the base of her blue lips.

"I'm— I'm okay," she said through gasping breaths, arms flailing. "My seatbelt's stuck, I can't— I'm trapped, Leo."

"Hold on," I freed myself from my own seatbelt and fought off the dizziness I felt as I climbed into the back seat. "You'll be okay, I'll get you out." I promised her, her bloodshot eyes holding mine as I heaved in a long breath and disappeared from her view.

I felt more and more lightheaded as time progressed and the seatbelt remained glued to it's attachment. After twenty seconds, in what felt like a boost of adrenaline based upon fear, I somehow managed to free her restraints.

I pushed myself back to the surface only to see Lily's pale face beneath the liquid. "C'mon, Lily." I grabbed her arm, pulling her against me. She choked, heaving in a broken breath as she coughed and spluttered. "You're okay."

Whilst she caught her breath, I tried to think of ways to get her out. "When I tap your leg, I need you to take a deep breath, Lily. As much as your lungs will hold, okay? I'm going to swim under and push the door open, the water should've levelled the pressure."