A/N: I know I've been so MIA it's unbelievable, six weeks without an update? I'm soooo sorry. I'm hoping the next 17,000+ words can make up for the time it took.
p.s: I have left some little clues here and there for future books so look out for those.
trigger warning; whilst this chapter is happy overall, there are a few dark moments. mentions of suicide, self harm, m*rco, drugs, very mild nature content, dark humour, violence & forbidden romance.
Leo's healing journey is anything but linear. It's lengthy process and he's going to hit some bumps along the road.
S I X M O N T H S L A T E R
L E O
My eyes lock on the gravel beneath my feet.
This was usually the moment where I would take some time to rest my brain and focus solely on the beauty of the world around me; capturing every star, tree, leaf or creature my eyes may find, in the hopes I could express them from memory to paint to paper one day, but, to my hearts horror, my blurry eyes couldn't make out one single stone.
My mind was lost; reeling with the scars of my past, so much so, that everything surrounding me became unrecognisable as terror crept into my veins, tainting my blood and sight as bitter, dreaded memories took the reign over my current reality.
It wasn't surprising for me; the panic, the fear, the rapid rise and fall of my chest, or the way my breath left me in heaved, ragged gasps.
I'd expected it, I'd even go as far as to say I'd prepared for it. A foolish mistake on my behalf—to think I could ever prepare for something so mentally draining. It was naive, but warranted, after all, the things I'd already gone through were a testament to that.
The most terrifying part? In seven minutes I would turn the big one six.
Never in a million years did I expect to make it this far.
It was strange; the way the date crept up on me slowly. So slowly that I failed to realise just how close it actually was. The whole month of January had almost past without me noticing what month it was, as well as the significance one particular day of this month held.
No one knew it, but for years, I despised the month of January.
I still do.
It was the one month that played as a constant reminder of everyone and everything I've lost, everything that has been taken from me despite my will to keep it. It's the month that's broke me entirely from the savage whiplash of being propelled back into the darkest moments of my past.
Even before the hurt of him, January bled it's pain into my heart. And deep down, beneath the shattering surface of the defence walls I'd built, I couldn't help but wonder if, every year, on this very day, I would always feel like the same lonely kid they'd forgotten, or worse, the naive twelve year old boy he ruined.
Sixteen terrified me... just like I feared January always would.
It wasn't fair. I had been doing good lately.
So good.
I was happy and it wasn't the pretend kind of happiness I'd grown accustomed to faking. My happiness was felt and it was real.
YOU ARE READING
If I Stay✔️
Teen FictionBOOK 2 L E O Two years have passed for Leo and his siblings and yet his heart breaking secrets remain hidden, lost in the same shadows in which they continuously neglect to realise they've left him in. Will any of them notice before it's too late...
