If I Stay✔️

96: part 1| ELEO

3 weeks later

E M I L I O

After our first kiss, my feelings for Leo began to change and manifest into something more. Maybe they'd never truly been feelings of friendship in the first place; I was much too young back then to identify the differences between platonic and not-so-platonic.

But, God, as ridiculous as it may sound even as an eight year old, I would've gave everything I had to see his smile or hear his angelic laugh.

I still would.

So, because I was so desperate to for him to smile, which was something (even as a kid) he rarely had reason to do, I tried to come up with different ways to initiate it.

It started off as small, simple things; telling crude jokes that I knew would make him laugh in an instant, or, if I took it too far, sometimes grimace. Tickling behind his ear because it was the only place he was truly ticklish, to the point that one gentle stroke would guarantee a giggle. Reciting quotes from his favourite novels until the shock morphed to happiness then awe.

Over time, those small gestures gradually increased to more.

When we were ten, I started planning little spontaneous dates for him. A whole day dedicated to just Leo. Only him.

Only us.

My favourite date, which I assume back then was his, too, started off in the fields behind his home. I'd lure him there with the pretence of having seen a flock of owls. He had a fascination with any flying creature back then; butterflies, birds, eagles, hawks; you name it, he loved it.

I wasn't as smart as Leo, therefore, I didn't know owls weren't referred to as being in "flocks" like other birds, nor did I know that they were nocturnal and it was almost impossible to see them in the daytime.

Leo, of course, knew this.

It was something that stuck with me to this day, years later; the fact that he knew. He'd corrected me upon my small white lie a few hours later, lips lifted in a teasing grin as he claimed I couldn't have seen a flock of owls before shaking his head at the absurdity of that one false statement.

I didn't blush, nor was I embarrassed. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I remember grinning at him, teeth and all, feeling beyond elated as the increasing butterflies in my tummy flew in constant, perfect circles.

He knew I was bullshitting him and yet, when I approached him claiming all these false facts, he smiled and took my outstretched hand firmly in his own, allowing me to drag him through the overgrown field of golden barley.

We sat in the middle of the field for hours, on the little blanket I'd set up one hour prior to my owl lie. The centre of the checkered blue blanket was covered in art supplies I'd stolen from his bedroom, knowing that he would love nothing more than to paint the scenery around us.

He had a thing for nature. He still does.

To the left, hidden behind the long wisps of green grass, sheltered from the summer sun, lay Leo's favourite snacks and soda; two bottles of (sadly, despite my efforts) tepid Dr Pepper.