Let the Heart Do the Talkin': (An Aerosmith/Kiss Love Story)

Chapter 2-Coming Undone, Barely Together (Tommy Thayer)

Jamie.... why...why.... WHY?!!! He nearly made me lose my precious, precious son.... the only thing...no person holding me together, that if it weren't for Evan...I would have been dead a long time ago. Then he shows up after 2 fucking years to Kill me? To finish me off?!! He put the people I DO care about in danger...and...and it's because of ME.... this is my fault....my FAULT! I PUT Aerosmith in danger. I blame me for what happened.... hell, I wouldn't blame them for blaming me, they would be right to do so....and I can't believe I STILL...AM haunted by the unspeakable things Jamie did to me, not counting what lead to me finally getting the courage to leave him.... I... I am barely hanging on...and so distrustful to those outside my family...and my son, my son....i...

"Tommy?!...Tommy?!! Breathe...come on...breath..." A voice, very frantic reaches me. "You're about to pass out! I. I... know...I know you're scared...Jamie is gone...they got that bastard. Evan is safe, YOU'RE safe." The voice cries desperately and my vision is cleared as I realize two things: One I am in a dressing room and two, Paul Stanley is with me...oh. OH.

I whimper...," I-I... p-put everyone in danger.... it's m-my fault Paul...they are gonna hate me!" I pull at my hair frantically, heart racing. And vaguely I am aware of a wet wash rag being applied to my face, oh...yes, my make-up...Paul is helping me...yes, that's right.

"NO ONE HATES you...no one blames you...Tommy, I promise you..." Paul's touches on my face are gentle, but still I flinch.

"I blame me..." I whisper, "And my son...my son...was...is like me...not trusting those he doesn't know!" My tone bitter, and small.

"You know that's not true Tommy.... he's shy...but you, you are too....and you have good reasons not to trust strangers so to speak, you're doing wonderfully raising Evan... NEVER doubt that. He's a sweet little boy." Vaguely I am aware, more that my boots are off...and my make-up...Paul helping to change me into regular clothes, I am like a doll...a broken one...but a doll.

"Thanks, Paul...for being a good friend...I very much want to believe you...but I don't." I whisper.

"Here... I'll be right back...I'll go get Evan." Paul pats me gently on the shoulder, before leaving. I bring my knees up to my chest, and rock myself back and forth before stopping. Before I know it, the door opens again and Evan flies into my arms, crying...I haven't stopped since i started. Paul says he will check on me again later, but that if I need him or anything...that I don't hesitate to ask...

"Mommy?! Mommy.... bad man gone?" Evan cries, as we cling to each other.

"Yes.... sweet angel he's gone...gone for good." I whisper gently stroking my son's back. "Mommy would do anything to keep you safe...you're my world." I feel little hands on my face, and it's like looking into a mirror.

"Mommy? I glad meet Ebby one...Aero-me (Aerosmith) so cool!" Evan exclaims. This is what I need, my son grounding me. "Mommy...Mr. Joe so nice! He cools.... you cool too mommy. I wuv you!"

"And I love you...Mommy will be ok..." Evan cuts me off, expression serious...very much so for a toddler.

"Mommy, you no hab (Have) hidey sad.... you hurt..." he places his tiny hands on my heart. He's right...he's so very right.

"You're right sweet angel...now, I did promise some little boy, to make their favorite dinner tonight!" Evan bounces up and down in my lap in excitement, his giggles echoing. A knock sounds at the door...I assume to be Paul. "Come in!" The door opens and it's not Paul...It's Joe Perry, my eyes widen with shock.

"I thought...I would come check on you. I was worried...and I followed the giggles. I am glad your son is ok, and safe." He takes a seat, as I look at him in disbelief. "But...Tommy, you know that what happened..." Here he falters, sounding a bit choked up. "It wasn't your fault.... I can only imagine what you've been thru. NO ONE blames you...no one."