I find myself dreaming....and it's a total nightmare.... i am dreaming of the day I met Joe, but I dream that instead of the police getting Jamie, Jamie got me.... ripping me away from all that I know...the fear is taking hold; I feel myself getting colder.... the gunshots sound like Explosions around me....my blood is all over the floor...
"Tommy?! Tommy.... hang on...hang on.... PLEASE." The voice cries desperately.
"E-Evan...my son..." I wheeze.
"Shh...save your strength." That voice, a Boston based accent that sounds very familiar...comforting...a comfort I don't deserve. The voice is full of tears...
"S-Sorry...sorry for all t-the trouble...I never meant for this to happen. T-Take care of Evan PLEASE." Before anything else is said....it all fades...
I wake up screaming and crying, scared...it felt SO real!
"Tommy?!! Breathe.... please.... breath..." That voice, my brain finally registers.... Joe...Boston...my Boston. I'm still not feeling well...I can feel Lola...Lola...amazingly moving calmly, restless but otherwise calm and then a gentle kick. I cling to my husband, as he gently holds me, arms around me as best he can place them, as he gently rocks me and I bury my face in his chest, still trying to calm down more..., "Oh baby...baby, you had a horrible nightmare, didn't you? Baby, I'm here...I'm HERE. Talk to me...maybe it will help, either way I am taking care of you."
"J-Just...d-don't let me go...." I whisper.
"NEVER." Joe declares almost fiercely...his voice husky from tears. He's right...he's right, my husband would never let me suffer alone, he loves me...and he's always there whenever, wherever I need him...he's, my HOME.
"I-I had...nightmare...I dreamed of the day I met you....Jamie...J-Jamie shot me...I heard more shots...maybe they got him...but h-he took me with him...before I went....it was YOU I heard, but in the nightmare...I didn't know you, know your voice but yet I did....you told me to hang on, and tried to comfort me...I said I was s-sorry for all the trouble and to take care of Evan....it FELT real....so real!!" I break down again, clinging to my husband desperately fearing he'll be gone. "I thought.... the nightmares...would STOP." I murmur dejected.
"OH TOMMY....my sweets sparkles....i would a never let that bastard hurt you...even that day I'd' a laid down my life for you...I wish I could KILL that monster for what he's done to you and still doing....and baby, you went thru such trauma...PAIN, for YEARS....there will be moments, moments like tonight....but like the day we met, I was there then, here now and will ALWAYS be there for you...for our family, because god...do I love you." Joe's Boston accent becomes more pronounced, comforting me...I don't feel nauseous like I did when I first woke up.... but I realize it's the middle of the night...and I cry, softly. I feel gentle hands hold my face, and I sniffle.... looking into my husband's rich earthy eyes.
"S-Sorry...it's...it's late and...and..." I start getting worked up again, until I feel FIRE...those warm fiery lips of my husband on my own, lips moving in a hypnotic rhythm until we part for breath, I get my husband's message loud and clear. "I love you." I whisper.
"As I love you..." my husband's hands move to my swollen belly, "And I love you sweet bean and your brother." Joe's eyes shine with love and fondness and suddenly I am hit with cravings for of all thing's chocolate ice-cream, pickles, and strawberries.
"Babe? I know it's late...but I am like really craving chocolate ice cream with pickles and strawberries..."
"If that's what you and Lola want, then that's what you'll get and tell you what...after how about a bubble bath?" Joe's eyes crinkle adorably, as he smiles. "I won't be gone long sparkles." True to his word, he's not gone long soon handing me my cravings which I eat with gusto and afterwards, let loose a loud burp, cheeks burning in embarrassment.
"Damn..."
"Don't feel bad Sparkles...how about that bath huh?" I smile at my husband as he helps me up, arm around my waist...hand on my stomach, Lola still moving...moving gently.... Joe supports me in so many ways...God...do I love him! Joe has me sit down at our vanity, in a robe after he takes my clothes off and finds fresh ones for after the bath and I watch him...my heart so very full of love for him. Soon the bath is ready, and carefully Joe helps me in the bath and I lay back with a sigh of relief.... hands of course on my belly.
"AHH....so much better!"
"I am so glad Tommy...I love taking care of you."
"I don't know what I'd do without you Boston." I tell my husband, tearing up. A gentle hand on my cheek.
"I feel the same way about you Sparkles..." And another of his hands goes to my swollen belly, his eyes lighting up with awe. "This never gets old.... I love this so much; I wish I'd got to feel Evan."
"I wish you did too." I echo Joe, before adding on, "You were always there, appearing when I needed someone the most." Softly. The next thing I know, is I wake up in bed feeling so warm and cozy what seems to me moments later...., "Joe?" I question.
"You dozed off in the tub.... you still look sleepy. Lola's ok.... i believe she's gone back to sleep." Joe answers me.
"I'm not sleepy.... I...." I yawn.
"Tommy, sparkles...you are. You need lots of sleep for you and Lola...I..." I cut my husband off, a bit fearful.
"W-What if...I... have another nightmare? I... I don't wanna wake you again and... and." I feel tears roll down my face, and those gentle hands I know so well.
"Then I will be right here, fighting off your nightmares....and I don't care if you wake me or I lose sleep, you need me, and I am there. Now sleep Tommy and remember how very much I love you." Joe kisses me gently, before then getting me settled and then moments later I am out like a light and I begin to dream...this time, it's not a nightmare...it's a dream come true.... such a beautiful dream.
I find my husband and myself, a lot older...me early 60s...my Boston in his 70s sexy as ever, and us still very much in love after all these years, at our home in Massachusetts...waiting it seems on the arrival of our grandchildren.
"I can't wait for them to get here...god, I've missed them so much!!" I sigh.
"I know you have, and I feel the same way...think of how far we've come.......and I cannot believe that Evan and Dakota are married.... stuck forever with Steven and Paul, the peacock twins." Joe grumbles but fondly, I know how much he loves his son in-law.
I raise and an eyebrow at my husband referring to Paul and Steven Tyler as the peacock twins all of 2 seconds before I burst into laughter....
"S-So true...god..." I wheeze before I calm down, "Evan is really nervous...about Dakota traveling right now." I sigh, and then say, "Can't blame him...and oh yes Lola is coming too."
"I know he's nervous...my baby boy.... not a baby any more...now he's having them.... our first grandchild.... Dakota is cleared with the doctor, Evan insisted...but the baby is fine." I hear the tears and see them for I am much the same way.
"Two of our children are basically grown, out of the house....and the other two...." I trail off, laughing as our two youngest children burst into the room as if on cue. And then everything once more begins to fade....
A/N: A nightmare, some love and comfort and a glimpse possibly into the future? Stay tuned for more!
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Let the Heart Do the Talkin': (An Aerosmith/Kiss Love Story)
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