Let the Heart Do the Talkin': (An Aerosmith/Kiss Love Story)

Chapter 8: Friendship? (Tommy Thayer)

I wake up...for once not crying...not screaming....and suddenly reality hits me, hits me hard.... but I don't freak.... i feel lighter, much lighter than I did and it's all thanks to....my eyes dart wildly around and still there on my chase lounge lies Joe Perry...he kept his word.... he didn't run, he didn't leave. I do not know what the HELL I would have done if he hadn't of, well saved my life...he SAVED my life. I feel such a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, now that I told someone...HIM, every sordid detail of my past, of the abuse and torment I've suffered for as long as I could remember. I hit rock bottom, no two ways about it. But again, it seems Joe has always been there calming me down. I don't know how I'll begin to thank him...now as I've said I can begin to TRULY heal to move on...and, and last night...I said...or alluded to what I am now going to admit to myself...that I believe I may have feelings for Joe Perry. But I still need time, time to heal before I get into another relationship, and I asked him to give me time....and I feel he would...but then part of me is confused...afraid, but then I would love to get to know him and be friends...And then there is Evan.... Evan loves Joe...Joe is so good to him, and good to me.... I....

I am broken out of my reverie by the sound of that smooth, soothing voice laced with concern....

"Tommy? Are you ok? You're crying." I bring a hand to my face and feel my eyes widen in realization. I didn't even realize....and I feel...awkward and drop my gaze. I feel the mattress dip and Joe sits beside me, me starting to feel overwhelmed as without words he wraps his arms around me in a hug.

"I-I didn't realize.... i was just thinking about things...well everything. You don't know just how much last night meant to me or means to me. Joe, you saved my life! I've told you stuff my family has no clue about, the torment...the pain, I feel lighter than I did.... that I can FINALLY begin to move on and heal. I'm still confused about some things...but, but I was hoping...we could be friends?" I say quietly, voice cracking on the last part.

"Tommy.... I'd do anything for you...you deserve happiness, remember that. You have so many that care for you, love you....and I know how hard it was and is to open especially all you've been thru, and to remember we all have our days and times, but it sounds and feels like as you've said, you can at last begin to heal and move on...and, as for the confusion? Take all the time you need to figure things out...I'll help you as well...and as for friends?" Here he pulls back to look at me, eyeing me seriously...compassion in his earthy brown eyes...and that certain something that makes my heartbeat fast. "I would love that, Tommy; it would be an honor. Now...did you sleep ok?"

It hurts when he lets go of me which he does reluctantly it seems, but he stays close to me as we eye one another.

"Yeah.... i mean all things considered... I DID." I find myself saying in wonder. "No nightmares...no waking up screaming for the first time in YEARS....and it's...I just have hope. It's morning still, right?" I get a little confused.

Joe chuckles softly, "It's actually early afternoon."

"Huh...how about that?" I mutter to myself. "Oh shit! I need...to call..." As if on cue my phone rings, Joe hands it to me...our fingers brushing, I felt...wow....and I realize it's Eric...or really Evan. I put it on speaker...and sure enough....

"Mommy!! I see how doin'!"

I laugh here warmed at hearing his sweet little voice and because, even though he's 2...he's a little mischievous like I am when it comes to Eric as far as messing with him....as he knows how to work Eric's phone and knowing him, he took it without Eric noticing.

"Did you take Eric's phone again angel?"

"He busies with da 'cookies!" Evan snickers.

"That figures." I roll my eyes before saying, "I love you sweetheart."

"Me wuv ew too momma! I---" Evan gets cut off by Eric's arrival.

"Hey Tommy! Tell your son to STOP stealing my phone!" Eric whines over the speaker, which only makes me laugh harder and Evan too and I hear Joe laughing as well. But Eric's tone is fond.

"Ewic ew busy wit cookies! I talk to mommy." Evan states matter of factly before his tone becomes more serious. "Mommy happy? Mommy sound happy."

"I—I am...better...than yesterday...I had help from a dear...friend last night. I'll be ok sweety." I sniff, trying to keep my tears at bay.

"Mommy still hab gone-up time? (Grown up time?), your betta!"

"I will sweety, I will...I really will." I tell him but of course I hear Eric ask who said friend is...and I know Eric knows...he is 'loose lips' after all...but still this prompts my son to ask...

"Who fwiend?"

Before I can answer Joe DOES his tone gentle, "Hey Buddy."

"Perry?!!" Evan says happily, God...I must admit this is cute!! "Tank ew hep mommy!"

"That's me Evan....and your very welcome, least I can do. Did you sleep ok? Been good for Eric and Brad?" Joe asks, and I have to say...God, I mean.... he's so good with him! I've never heard anyone, ask after or care for my son outside of family...

"I swept gweat (slept great), I be good for them...they awesome! I go bye-bye, hungwy. Wuv ew mommy." Evan exclaims.

"Love you too son.... I'll talk to you again soon. I miss you..." Evan tells me he loves me again and hangs up. Joe and I share a look and I find that I can't look away.... the spell is broken when he speaks though his eyes never leave mine.

"So.... any ideas on what you're going to do today?" If I didn't know better, he sounds nervous.

I sigh, "No...not a damn clue. I'm not used to truly taking time for myself. I know I need to...but, too it's hard."

"Well.... I have some ideas if you'd like. I mean you wanted to get to know me, right?" I nod. "You could come over to my place, see my house, my guitar collection and dinner would be involved. If you want." Shyly almost. Me? Again, I find myself floored.

"Um.... wow...you'd really do that for me?" I murmur before speaking up, "Know what? I'd love to. I'd really love a shower though...and, and thanks for going to all this trouble."

"I'd love to have you...and it's no trouble AT ALL. Take your time in getting ready." Joe's earthy eyes lighten.

"Oh! I just...well if you'd like to...you can take a shower...here...um in m-my guest bathroom or one of them, if you want?" I stammer over practically every word.

"I would appreciate that Tommy, that's really nice of you." A warm smile accompanies Joe's words. I find myself smiling back, I lead him to my guest bathroom and point out where the towels are, he eyes everything appreciatively and suddenly to my surprise laughs....

"What's so funny?"

"Just remembering the time, I pranked Steven, and put hair dye in his shampoo on tour once.... think it was back in 87.... the dye by the way was pink...so he was SO pissed at me, but I tell you now.... fucking worth it!" I practically wheeze with laughter at the imagery.

"God...I haven't laughed like that in YEARS. Thank you!"

"Your welcome Tommy...now you go take a shower. I'll be here.... I'll wait for you downstairs." He tells me, giving me a hug before I leave and head to my bedroom to take a shower of my own.

My life has already changed for the better...talk about a complete 360...180, whatever. But still, this taking time for myself, opening...it's monumental, something I never ever imagined I would do, but thanks to Joe.... that's all changed. I am realizing that I don't have to go thru ANYTHING alone, suffer in silence...wandering thru the darkness, now I can move into the light....

A/N: Humor, heart...perhaps even a little romance? Or the beginning of it....at last Tommy is moving on or beginning too....and an invitation has been extended. Much love to all!