Glimpses

Chapter 45

October 6th, 2016

It had been awkward with her mother since Rory had told her she wanted to write that book about them. Frankly, they weren't speaking. That was more easily thought than done considering Rory had been staying in her childhood bedroom at the time, but the avoidance grew too rough for Rory to handle, so she'd moved in with Lane - thankfully there was that spare room, and Brian didn't need it at the time.

Both she and Lorelai had done their part in staying out of each-other's way these past few weeks. Work and not going out to eat much helped. It was not like Rory had a lot of cash to spend anyways.

Since Rory had spit out what she'd wanted to tell her, having naively actually been kind of excited to tell her, hoping she'd be happy for her progress, she'd read it already from her mother's body language that she wasn't on board, but she'd just kept rambling, trying to explain it anyway. She couldn't believe she'd been so firmly against it.

"You don't have my permission!" - was one of the harshest things Rory had ever heard from her mother. The tone and the wording. It had sounded way worse than "You're not quitting Yale!"

The most Rory had heard of her was voice when she'd been around town, but her reaction to that hadn't been very mature - taking another route or simply avoiding her by hastening her pace. She could tell the town was already talking about them too. Rory knew Lorelai didn't want to talk, she knew what it was like when she'd meant it. It was that that hurt so much.

She'd made it to the Gazette that morning, being the first one to arrive which was not the most common situation, usually Esther already being present and filing almost like she had never left. The space - old, cluttered and no doubt full of paper dust - felt calming though. Almost like sniffing at an old book.

It was then as she put her things away, she glanced at the phone for the first time since she'd left Lane's that morning, she noticed it. A voice mail from Lorelai. She took a deep breath and sank to Bernie Roundbottom's chair, gathering her courage to listen to it.

"Hey, it's me," it began. "I know we haven't been talking but you as well as I know how it doesn't really feel right like this. I know you're probably hurt and upset and... You must think I am this big crazy bitch for having said what I did, but you know me - I generally say what I feel. So I just... I just can't," Lorelai continued but stopped on that topic. "But that's not really why I am calling. I've sort of decided I'm going away for a little while... there's been so much going on in my head, it's not about you - it's all me. Because it's just never or now," she exhaled, and Rory recognized a hint of sadness in her tone she hadn't heard in a while. "Luke knows how to get in touch with me if there's anything, but I could be out for a good few weeks, maybe more," she said, not sounding terribly sure of herself. "Bye Rory, love you," she ended the message.

Rory wasn't quite sure what to do with this information. For one her mother was never too thorough on the follow through of such big plans, but what did she know? She hadn't been paying that close attention to how her mother was doing, what she was thinking - how else could she have miscalculated her reaction to the book idea so badly?

She was relieved to hear that Lorelai would still love her regardless, not that she should've been that surprised - same went for her, but it was a necessary assurance. She'd needed it more than she'd realized. She hadn't buried her plan to write that book, even if it was just to use it as a writing exercise and leave it collecting dust at the bottom of one of the drawers at the Crap Shack. She needed to get out of her rut, even if it meant writing just for herself and her mother's eyes.

But as Rory lingered on those thoughts for a few minutes, she became increasingly worried about her mother too. Her mother was never much for going off all by herself. She liked to have a partner in crime. Someone to talk to, someone to complain to. Rory could tell something was up the second the door chimed, indicating Esther's grumpy arrival on how Rory should've turned on the lights so she wouldn't have bothered looking for her key.