Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

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On his way home, Nick couldn't stop repeating the scene in his head. He'd never had to step in and break up a fight before, and this was more than that—they hadn't just been fighting, Ben had been assaulting Charlie. Two boys Nick knew had been kissing, and fighting over kissing. It had never occurred to him to wonder if that sort of thing happened at Truham, but of course it must, right? Charlie was the only boy who was out, but he couldn't be the only one who was gay, not out of the whole school. Yesterday, Nick might have said he could, but having seen Ben today he couldn't help but wonder how many other people he knew were something different behind closed doors.

He couldn't believe he'd ever been friends with that jerk. Looking back, he'd never really liked Ben—they'd only just spent time with the same people. But still, that made them friends, didn't it? Well, not anymore.

He hoped Charlie was okay. That was a terrible thing to have to go through. No one should have to. Thinking of seeing him backed up against the wall like that made Nick feel guilty—someone should make sure things like that couldn't happen. And then to have Charlie apologise, like somehow it had been his fault ...

At least he had stopped it today, but had there been other days? Had Ben done that kind of thing to Charlie before and no one stopped it because no one knew?

His mum said something to him, but he didn't hear her, lost in his thoughts. "Nick?"

"What?" He realised she must have asked about his day. "Yeah. It was ... normal." It hadn't been, and some part of Nick thought maybe he ought to tell her, but it wasn't his secret to tell, it was Charlie's, and what if he got Charlie in trouble somehow?

His phone dinged in his pocket and Nick fished it out. It was a DM from Charlie, saying "Thank you x". Nick smiled. Charlie would be okay, then. Nick thought now maybe he understood what Coach Singh had said about Charlie being brave. If that was the kind of thing Charlie had to deal with, if he could do it and still be okay, then he was brave. Very brave.

After dinner, Nick headed up to his room to do homework ... but instead of taking out his books, he took out his phone and went to Charlie's Insta, looking through his old posts. Most of them were pretty funny, and Nick found himself laughing a lot as he went through.

But then he found one with a picture of the school corridor and the caption "I hate this place", and suddenly he remembered why Charlie Spring's name had been so familiar to him back at the beginning of term. Charlie had been bullied last year. Terribly bullied by some of the other boys in his year, about being gay. Then Nick remembered that some of his friends had found it funny, that some year 9 boy was getting bullied because he was gay. And he, Nick Nelson, had sat by quietly, not paying it much attention, because it was no one he knew. Why had he done that? Why hadn't he spoken up, said ... something?

Well, he would, he thought. He would speak up. And he would start by making sure Charlie knew he had a friend who was here for him.

He switched to the DMs and found the one Charlie had sent to him. Charlie had said "Thank you" like it was any more than the literal least Nick could have done. Nick typed "It's okay!!" But that seemed flippant. He tried "That seems like a kinda serious situation", because it did, but decided that was too heavy for someone he didn't know that well. Then "Please don't talk to Ben anymore lol", but did he really have any right to tell Charlie who to talk to?

Finally he went with "Are you feeling okay?"

Charlie answered after only a minute. "yeah, i'm fine, don't worry" with a smiley emoji.

"You sure??"

He could see that Charlie had seen the message and started typing something, but then erased it a couple of times. Nick put his phone down, not wanting to pressure Charlie if he didn't want to talk, and reached for Nellie's soft fur, petting her gently. He really didn't know what he would do without Nellie here, always curled up wherever he was. "You are the best dog," he told her, and she looked up at him with her doggy smile like she knew what he'd said.

But after a little while, he picked up the phone again. He didn't want to leave it that way. He wanted to make sure Charlie was really okay and not just saying so. "You can talk to me about it if you want," he texted. "Sounds like a pretty serious situation."

Then he added "But you don't have to." "If you don't want to." And, finally, "But I am your friend and I do care." Was that too much? They didn't know each other that well. But Nick found he wanted to know Charlie better, to be his friend, to make sure nothing like that ever happened to him again.

So Charlie explained that it had started last September, when Ben approached him in the music room. Ben had told him he was brave for putting up with all the negativity around being outed, and they had started meeting whenever Ben wanted, and eventually started kissing, but Ben had never wanted anyone else to know.

Charlie finished up the text thread by saying "he never actually wanted to be my boyfriend" "i guess he was just using me". And then "sorry ... i know he's your friend."

Why was Charlie apologising to Nick because Nick was friends with a terrible person? And Ben was no friend of Nick's. Not anymore. He typed that out, feeling better as he did, adding "GOD I hate him so much" and "Please don't ever talk to him again."

Charlie texted back "Thank you for being my supportive straight friend haha."

Nick smiled. "Lol that's okay!!!" "If he ever comes near you again I'll kick his ass." He was pretty sure he could do it, too.

Charlie responded with a heart emoji.

After that, Nick put the phone down and actually started his homework, but he kept thinking of that heart emoji and feeling strangely warmed by it.