Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Okay

Whatever other plans they might have had for Friday night were cancelled so they could spend it in Nick's room with each other. Nick wanted to clear the air and make absolutely certain that nothing like this could happen to them again.

"I'm going to lift the ban on the 's' word for one night only," he told Charlie as they lay together on his bed, holding hands. "So I can apologise to you for everything I did, and you can try to apologise to me and I can tell you why you have nothing to be sorry for."

Charlie laughed. "Okay."

"I am so sorry that you had to lie because of me."

"I'm sorry that all your friends turned out to be idiots."

"Me, too. I'm sorry I didn't push you to tell Tao earlier." Nick frowned. "Hm. I should apologise to him, too."

"I'm sorry I made you feel bad for not coming out."

"Nope. I should feel bad. I mean, I appreciate you not pushing me to do it before I'm ready, but—to make you keep us a secret and feel bad about yourself? I should have—I should have talked to you more, stood up for you more." He put his arms round Charlie and pressed his face into Charlie's shoulder. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me."

"You don't have to say that."

"I know I don't. But it is the truth."

Charlie's eyes were like stars. "I'm running out of things to say sorry for."

"I never thought I'd see the day," Nick teased him. "I'm sorry for getting into a fight with Harry." He frowned. "Actually, no, I'm not. I should be, but I'm really not."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything."

"The black eye made you look dashing."

"Dashing?" That earned Charlie a kiss. "You're ridiculous."

"And you're a dork," Charlie told him. "Walking off the pitch in the middle of the match, in front of both schools, like somebody from a rom-com."

"I couldn't help it. You wouldn't talk to me." Nick sat up suddenly, and Charlie mirrored him. "Seriously, that can't happen again, okay? You can talk to me about anything. Anything. Anytime, anywhere."

"I know."

"Do you?" He took Charlie's hand. "Really?"

"Really."

"Good."

"Nick."

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing on Sunday?"

Nick grinned. "I haven't had time to plan anything yet. You've been here the whole time."

"Oh, am I in the way? I could always—" Charlie made as if to get up and leave but Nick kept hold of his hand and pulled him back down on the bed.

"Don't you dare. I have plenty of time tomorrow. Unless you're free?"

"Sorr—I mean, unfortunately, no. I promised Tao we'd do a real cinema night, just the four of us. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not. It probably wouldn't be good for us to spend all our free time together."

"It sounds nice, though," Charlie said. He put his arms around Nick and laid his head on his shoulder.

It did sound good.

"Are you done saying your sorrys now?" Charlie asked.

Nick gave that some thought. "I suppose I am, although I feel like I have more to say."

"Nick. You can't apologise for being who you are—or for not knowing who that is."

"Look who's talking." Charlie shrugged uncomfortably, and Nick changed subjects quickly. "Will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Even when you're angry at me, always text me good-night?"

Charlie smiled. "Okay."

"I missed you. Did I say that already?"

"A few times. But I don't mind hearing it a few more."

Nick laughed and leaned down to kiss him, then laid his head on Charlie's shoulder and closed his eyes with a happy sigh.

He heard Charlie's voice calling his name softly, and he realised he had nearly fallen asleep here on his bed with Charlie in his arms.

"Nick," Charlie said again, the word more a breath than a sound.

"What?"

"Say the name again."

"What name?" But he remembered, and was glad that particular moment hadn't been ruined for good by what came after.

"You know what name," Charlie said shyly.

Nick lifted himself on one elbow so he could look down into Charlie's face. "You mean the one I said I was never calling you again."

"Yes, but you didn't mean that."

"Didn't I?"

"No."

Nick smiled. "Char," he said, softly and affectionately, and he followed it up with a kiss.

All too soon the alarm on Charlie's phone chimed. He reached for it to turn it off and text his parents he was on his way home. "Nick."

"What?"

"Check your phone. Mine is blowing up."

"Why?" Nick reached for his phone from the bedside table and saw a stream of texts from various people. Darcy had been flooding their group chat with heart-eye emojis about the scene on the pitch, with Tara trying to calm her down. Several of the rugby lads had texted to complain about Nick leaving them in the lurch for the game. Elle's message said, "It was about time for the grand gesture!!!" He agreed completely.

And Imogen had texted "I see now what you meant. I'm happy for you. You make a cute couple." Nick smiled. It was nice to see that at least one of his former friends looked like they would still be his friend going forward. He hoped Imogen found someone to like who would make her happy.

"Our friends are ridiculous," Charlie said, smiling.

"They really are." Nick couldn't help smiling back.

He walked Charlie to the door, standing there watching until he disappeared round the corner. When he turned back inside, his mum was standing there watching him.

"All right, Nicky?"

"Yeah. Better." She nodded, and he was half-tempted to tell her, but ... it had been a really long day, and he was tired, and he just wanted to go to bed early and be happy. "Movie night tomorrow? We can watch Mamma Mia again, if you want to."

"Sounds good."

Nick went upstairs and brushed his teeth and got into bed. He hadn't slept well all week, and he found himself blinking wearily as soon as his head hit the pillow. He picked up his phone and texted Charlie, "Soooo sleepy. Good-night."

Charlie texted back a stream of sleeping animal emojis, ending with his own "good-night". Nick smiled, putting his phone down, and was asleep in minutes.