Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Bonjour

Back in the hotel, everyone flopped on their own beds, Isaac with his book and Tao and Nick on their phones, while Charlie was in the bathroom.

Nick put his phone down and looked at Tao. "How'd it go with Elle today?"

Tao looked surprised to be asked. "It was fine." Then he sat up, maybe feeling he had been abrupt. "We just walked around the museum for a bit. It was nice."

"Well, I always thought you two would be good together, so ..."

"You don't get it. Elle is literally the most amazing person in the world. She's gone through so much shit. Like, I was her friend when she came out as trans, and that was not a fun time for her. Why would she ever like me anyway? She's so cool and interesting and beautiful, and I'm ... I'm just me, you know."

Nick did get it. Sometimes he wondered that about Charlie—Charlie who was so cool and so smart and so brave, and here Nick was, just ... normal.

But Tao and Elle matched. They fit together, even if Tao couldn't see it. "Well, I—I think you're pretty cool, too. And interesting."

"But not beautiful?"

Nick smiled. "Well ... you're a good-looking guy, if that's what you're worried about."

"I thought you didn't even like me."

"I do like you, Tao. You know, you're ... you're funny, you're into weird indie films that, you know, I probably wouldn't understand. You know, you're ... you care about your friends so ... loudly. Without worrying what anyone else might think, and that's ... Well, that's ... that's really cool."

"Uh ... I'm going to go get something from the vending machine," Tao said awkwardly, seeming uncomfortable having Nick say nice things to him. He looked past Nick at Isaac. "You coming?"

"Yeah, sure." Isaac stuck a finger in his book to hold his place and got up.

Both of them left, and it was only after the door closed behind them that Nick realised what Tao had done, giving him and Charlie privacy. It was an unspoken seal of approval from Charlie's best friend. Reaching for his phone, Nick scrolled through pictures from the day, finding one of him and Charlie with their ice creams. He posted it to Instagram with the caption "Bonjour".

Charlie came out of the bathroom, phone in hand. "Did you just post another photo of me on Instagram?"

"I might have."

Charlie stood in front of him, one hand reaching out to smooth Nick's hair back. Nick put one hand, then the other, on Charlie's waist.

"What?" Charlie asked.

Nick pulled him close and held him. He wanted to hold him always, to stand in between him and anything that might hurt him, to keep him here at his side where Nick felt safe.

With a quick movement, he tugged Charlie down onto the bed with him and rolled them both over. Their mouths were very close together, but Nick remembered the challenge. "Hi," he said softly, in place of the kiss he was holding back.

"Hi."

If they lay here much longer, he was going to kiss him, challenge or no challenge. So instead, he rolled on top of him.

"Oh, my God, Nick, you giant rugby idiot!"

"Now you are fully trapped!" Nick pulled the comforter over both of them and wrapped Charlie up in that and in his arms. "Now you have to sleep in my bed."

"It's probably a bad idea."

Which made Nick think of earlier, at the restaurant, and Charlie not sitting with him. "You seemed kind of down today."

"I just wanted to be alone with you." Charlie leaned forward and kissed him, gently once, and then more eagerly, rolling Nick onto his back.

They kissed that way for a bit before rolling the other way. Nick lifted his head to look down at Charlie. "You taste like toothpaste. Like the first time we kissed at your house."

"Well, I literally just have brushed my teeth, so ..."

Nick bent and kissed the side of his neck. He wasn't sure why, or if this was all right, he just ... wanted to. "Is that okay?" he asked after a moment.

Charlie smiled. "Yeah."

So Nick did it again.

Then Charlie pushed at his shoulder. "Nick. We ... we should stop. We're going to get caught."

"I ..." Nick was confused. Then he remembered that Tao and Isaac were people who existed, who shared their room. He had been so caught up in Charlie that he'd forgotten all about—everyone. "Yeah. Yeah."

They sat up on the edge of the bed, Nick feeling weird and jittery and flustered.

Charlie bumped his shoulder. "I think you lost the challenge."

Nick laughed. It seemed completely unfair—Charlie had started it, after all. "Kissing's more fun than not kissing."

"True. Still ... I think I won."

"I think you cheated."

Charlie laughed. "Maybe."

By the time Tao and Isaac came back, they were back on their separate beds, scrolling through their phones.

Nick woke up to morning sunlight coming through the drapes. Tao was sprawled on his bed; Isaac was still asleep with his book over his face. Charlie was already up, brushing his teeth. He sat up, scrolling through his phone while he waited for Charlie to finish in the bathroom.

He had texted his father twice yesterday, asking when he wanted to meet up and reminding him that his stay in Paris was short, but there had been no response. So frustrating. Why was it always so hard to connect with him?

As he stared at the unanswered texts, another one came in from Charlie, telling him to come into the bathroom. Frowning, wondering why Charlie would need to text him from the bathroom, he got up and went to the door, slipping inside and whispering, "What's up?"

Charlie had a hand on his neck, and when he took it away, Nick saw the problem. A dark bruise, on Charlie's neck. A hickey. "Oh, my God."