Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Complicated

When Nick arrived at the gathering spot at the gate on Tuesday morning, he immediately sat down next to Imogen. Maybe he couldn't force himself to come out, but he could at least get himself out of this date situation—he owed Imogen that much, not to let things drag on when he wasn't interested, and he owed Charlie much more than that.

"Imogen. About our date ..." He turned to look at her, trying to find the right words. "See, I wasn't sure if—" But she was crying, and he couldn't continue. "Are you okay?" he asked instead.

She looked up at him sadly. "My dog died last night."

"Um ... I'm so sorry." He could only imagine what a mess he would be if Nellie died.

"He was really old, so, like, we knew it was coming." She showed him a picture of a happy-looking dog on her phone. "I loved him so much. This is the worst week ever."

"Yeah."

She looked up at him. "What were you going to say about our date?"

He would be worse than a coward to tell her now. Nick shook his head. "Nothing."

"So, shall we meet at Nando's for dinner and then we could go to the cinema?"

"Yeah. Okay." Maybe sometime later in the week he could find a way to get out of it. Come down sick? The coward's way out, for sure. But better than going and hurting both her and Charlie.

At form, he tried to come up with a way to tell Charlie, but really, how did you tell someone you were sort of dating that you had agreed to go out with someone else behind their back and you didn't know how to get out of it?

They'd formed the habit of leaving their hands in the middle of the table during the quiet time while the teacher called attendance so that occasionally their fingers could touch. Nick found it reassuring—especially on days like today, when he needed the reassurance.

Charlie reached out now and tapped Nick on the little finger. When Nick turned to look at him, he said, "So, it's kind of my birthday on Saturday."

"Is it?"

"Yeah. Me and my friends are going bowling, and I was going to ask if you wanted to come, but I know you don't really know them, so you don't have to."

Warmth filled him. After everything, Charlie still wanted him round—and wanted him to come meet his friends. Nick didn't even let Charlie finish speaking before answering. "Yes!"

"Nick and Charlie, keep it down please," their form teacher said sternly.

As he continued calling the roll, Nick reached out with his little finger, tapping Charlie's and then letting it rest there against Charlie's hand.

When Charlie looked over, Nick whispered, "Thanks for giving me barely any time to get you a present."

"You don't have to get me a present."

"No, I am going to."

"I'm serious." But he was also smiling, and Nick loved to make Charlie smile.

"Shh," he said, laughing a little. Maybe everything would be all right after all.

He smiled through the rest of the day, already looking forward to hanging out with Charlie and spending time with his friends.

At the table at the end of the day, Harry came up to Nick, grinning from ear to ear. "You all right, mate? Hyped for your date on Saturday?"

Nick frowned, not following. "Date on Saturday?"

"Yeah. Imogen told me you're 'meeting up' on Saturday."

Imogen. Oh, no. In his excitement at being asked to Charlie's birthday, Nick had forgotten about her entirely.

"Like, she's telling everyone, actually," Harry added.

Nick's heart sank. He wished he'd never gotten himself, or her, into this mess in the first place. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I forgot." Now it would be so much worse when he had to tell her he wasn't going to go. He couldn't pretend to be sick, not if he was going to go bowling with Charlie and his friends, and whatever he did say was going to hurt Imogen, which wasn't fair to her at all.

"Oh, boys. Boys. Watch this." Harry turned and chucked a ball at two boys walking up. To his horror, Nick recognized Tao and Charlie.

Tao marched straight up to Harry, shoving him. "Watch out, dicknozzle."

Harry squared off against him. "You all right, mate?"

Nick got to his feet, wanting to prevent anything from happening. What made Harry like this, anyway? Why did he have to go out of his way to make other people unhappy? "Harry, don't start."

"What?" Harry glared at him over his shoulder. "Are you best friends with these weird little year 10s now?"

He should say yes. It was the truth, after all. But somehow he couldn't seem to make himself say it. "Just stop picking on people for no reason."

Harry turned around, grinning at Nick. "Aw, are you gay for them?"

All the others laughed, and Nick looked at them in a panic. Did they know? Could they tell? Charlie was watching him, and he wanted to be brave for Charlie, to stand up for both of them and for Tao, but ... he couldn't. And he hated that he couldn't.

Tao spoke up instead. "Classic Harry. Resorting to homophobia when you can't think of a good comeback."

"Mate, are you in a mood today?" Harry demanded. So few people ever stood up to him, and Tao wasn't backing down.

"Are you? Serious question. Life must be really hard when your only personality trait is rich bell-end."

It was a pretty apt description, in Nick's view. The others seemed to agree, because they all laughed, which Harry didn't like at all.

Tao took Charlie by the shoulder and walked him off, and Harry turned back to the others, playing it off as though he had done some big thing rather than be verbally bested by a year 10. And Nick just stood there, which appeared to be what he was best at.

Imogen came up and started talking to him, and Nick tried to be nice to her without leading her on, listen enough to find an opening to cancel their date, and still keep an eye on Charlie as he walked away, which was a complicated balance, and he didn't manage it well at all.