Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Changed

Eventually, Charlie and Nick broke away from the rest of the group and found a spot where they could be by themselves. Leaning against the rail, Charlie smiled at Paris spread out in front of them. "Okay, this is the most beautiful sight."

Nick agreed. "We need to get a selfie for my mum."

"Okay." Charlie took out his phone and they turned and smiled for it, Paris in the background.

"She's going to love that." He was so glad to have such a supportive mum at home, someone who loved Charlie almost as much as he did.

"She is." Charlie sent the picture before putting his phone in his pocket.

From the level below them, one of the boys called up, "Hey, Nick! Is that hickey from you, then?"

He was too contented to be upset. "What if it was?" The words just said themselves; he didn't even stop to think before he said them. "You jealous?" He should be. Anyone should be, who didn't get to be with Charlie.

The boy's face fell. He'd been making fun, and now found himself on the wrong end of the fun, all the others laughing at him instead of Nick.

"Nah, leave 'em alone, lads," Harry Greene said, leading the others away. "Come on."

Nick barely noticed, caught up in the beautiful smile on Charlie's face, the happiness there. But then he realised what had happened. "Did Harry just stick up for us?"

"I think he did."

"Weird." Maybe Harry was learning some things. Wouldn't that be nice.

There was a silence, contented on Nick's part, but apparently not on Charlie's, because Charlie said nervously, "Maybe we shouldn't be hanging out right now. More people might think it was you who ... you know."

Nick had no intention of being anywhere but where Charlie was. He smiled. "You, um ... you do know it was me, right?" He was tempted to kiss him right here.

"Yeah, I think I remember you being there."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Nick looked away, out over Paris. He felt Charlie's finger brush the back of his hand, fireworks zinging from the touch, as they always did. As he hoped they always would. He turned back to Charlie, his breath catching at how he looked, with the sun on his curls.

Charlie glanced over at some kids who were laughing near them, but Nick couldn't look away. He had realised something, standing here—he didn't just like Charlie anymore. He was beyond that; far beyond. He was absolutely, utterly, head-over-heels in love with Charlie.

Pulling away from the railing, Charlie said, "Let's go find the others."

Nick took a moment, still stunned from the wave of emotion that had struck him, standing here. How had he not known, all this time, that he was falling in love? Maybe he had. Maybe some part of him had been sure almost from the beginning that this was going to be ... everything.

His phone buzzed, and he hastily dug it out of his backpack. But by the time he found it, he had missed the call. From his father. Hastily he called back, but it went straight to voicemail.

A text came in from him mum: "You catch up with your father yet?"

"Not yet. Hopefully soon." He didn't want to tell her he could never seem to catch his dad. He really tried hard not to talk to her about his father—or to his father about her, on the rare occasions when they did talk.

"Hopefully," she agreed. "How is Paris?"

"Good. Did you get the selfie?"

"Yes, thank you. It was lovely!"

He sent her a smiley face. Part of him wanted to call her—to ask about his dad, about why he was so distant, to tell her about Charlie, and about how frustrated they both were that Nick couldn't seem to come out ...

But he was in Paris, and there was time enough to talk to his mum when he got home. Putting his phone back in his backpack, he hurried after Charlie.

They stopped on the bridge with the locks, and Nick had fun laughing with their friends while Charlie talked to Tao.

The rest of the day was reserved for the visit to the Louvre. After a stern lecture from Mr. Farouk about respecting the art and the other patrons, and an earnest talk from Mr. Ajayi about really stopping to appreciate the art, Mr. Farouk gave them their final orders: "You have until five p.m. And if any of you gets lost, we will be leaving you here to get locked in."

Almost everyone headed straight for the Mona Lisa. Tara insisted they take another group selfie, although Nick wasn't sure how she was going to get all of them and the picture in the photo together.

But Darcy put her hands on her hips, frowning. "Wait. That's the Mona Lisa? That's it? It's rubbish!"

Nick laughed. He really liked Darcy's unique viewpoint and how open she was to expressing it. But Elle was horrified. "Darcy, it's art!"

Tara held up her phone again to distract them, taking another picture, while Isaac tried to convince Darcy that she couldn't just shout that one of the most famous paintings in the world was rubbish while standing in front of it. Nick didn't think he convinced her, but at least she took the picture, which made Tara happy.

Charlie and Nick wandered through the galleries with the others, a little bit apart, looking at the paintings. Nick thought they were pretty; he didn't really understand how people painted, how you got started or knew what brushstrokes to use. But he liked being here, surrounded by other people's art.

He stopped on a staircase with Elle, following her line of sight up to a painting on the ceiling. Elle must know all about this. She had a stillness about her right now, as though she was so happy to be here she couldn't even express it.

"I don't think I really understand any of the art," he said to her, "but ... it's nice to look at."

"You don't always need to understand it to enjoy it."

"This one feels kind of romantic." It made him think of Charlie. Or maybe everything made him think of Charlie now.

"Yeah."

"Guess that's true of real life, as well," Nick said thoughtfully.

"What is?"

"Like ... you don't have to understand your feelings completely to know you like something." Or someone. He'd gone all this time not really understanding how he felt, but he hadn't let that stop him from being with Charlie, from letting it change his whole life and how he thought about himself. "You don't have to always have figured everything out. You can just ... feel."

Suddenly Elle turned, and Nick realised that Tao was behind them, taking pictures. Elle took his hand and led him away, and Nick hoped that maybe the two of them were about to stop trying to understand and just let themselves be changed.