Kaleidoscope (a Heartstopper fanfiction)

Muddy

Nick ran off the pitch with the other Truham boys, but when they headed for the locker room and the showers, he went to find Coach Singh. "How's Charlie?"

"I think he'll be fine. It looked worse than it was."

"Can I look in on him?"

"Of course."

Nick knocked on the door of the nurse's office before opening it. Charlie was sitting on the exam table, holding a bloodied tissue to his nose.

"Hey," Nick said softly.

"Hey."

"Is your nose okay?" He closed the door behind him.

"I don't know."

"Let me see." Nick crossed the room and sat down next to Charlie, taking the tissue away and studying his nose. "It looks fine."

"Cool."

"You've got some mud on your face, though." He took a tissue from the box on the table and began gently wiping the mud off Charlie's cheek. It was such a small thing he could do for him, when he wanted to do so much more. If only ...

"Um, sorry ..." Charlie began.

"What?"

"I'm really sorry for being all clingy and annoying. I'm making this so awkward."

Nick was confused. Charlie had been anything but clingy, and the only one making things awkward was Nick. He hated that he was making Charlie doubt himself.

"You wanted to keep us a secret and I'm messing it up," Charlie continued.

"I'm the one who should be saying sorry." He looked at Charlie, trying to find the words for how badly he felt about ... everything that had happened today, and the whole situation, but before he could, the door opened. Startled, Nick and Charlie both turned toward the door. It must have been obvious something was going on between them, given how close they were sitting.

Charlie's friend Isaac stood there, staring at them. "Uh ... Sorry for, um, interrupting, but Mrs. Singh told me to give you some ... antiseptic wipes." He put them down, smiling awkwardly. "Okay." And he was gone, but so was the moment.

Nick stood up. "Um ... I'd better go."

"Okay." As Nick reached the door he heard Charlie behind him. "Isaac won't say anything."

He stopped, wishing he had the words for how much he didn't care whether Isaac said anything—wishing it was true that he didn't care. "Yeah," he said finally. "Okay." And he left.

Nick ignored the complaint session going on in the locker room, all the lads grousing about the way the game had gone, and went straight to the showers, letting them think he was upset about losing the game so badly. The shower washed the mud off him outside, but he still felt muddy inside. Confused, and cold, and lost.

By the time he left the locker room, the rain had stopped. At least that was some relief.

All the rugby lads were hanging about outside. As Nick exited, wanting nothing more than to go home and cuddle his dog, he saw Imogen waiting there with the others. She smiled at him.

"Oh. Hey." He smiled back.

"Hey!" She was looking at him like she had something important to say.

Nick remembered suddenly that she had confessed to liking him at Harry's party, and in the time since, preoccupied with Charlie, he had forgotten all about it. It was probably too much to hope for that she might have forgotten all about it, too.